#they dont meet. sad! timeline doesnt work out that way.

[quietwingsinthesky]

selfishly, its also that i think literally the only person in the entire whoniverse who could actually talk Even away from the master’s side would be lucy. in a way the doctor never could. (because the doctor means well, but he just. can’t speak to even about this in a way that makes them equals. if that makes sense.) but lucy is, for a bit there, living proof that there’s a worse possible fate than the master killing you outright. because he likes her, he keeps her, and he makes her essential to his survival, makes her a part of himself in a way with that biometrical signature.

they’re far from in the same position in relation to him, but they are, both, human companions. if anyone could grab even and say Get The Fuck Away From Him. it would probably only be lucy. shame that they don’t meet, then. instead, lucy is a lesson the master learned about how to keep better control on his next companion, and even probably doesn’t even know she existed beyond a name in a file somewhere.

[words-for-holland]

Always Yours

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Sometimes dating a celebrity is hard...but Tom & Y/N have always said no matter what happens they could get through anything. Some angst but a lot of fluff.

A/N: So sorry for leaving yall hanging! Life is just crazy right now and this blog needs a lot of TLC tbh!! Also ehh I def dont think this was my best work but enjoy?

“Oof” Y/N lets out as she plops on to her boyfriend who was lying comfortable on the couch. Tom groaned at the impact with a cheeky smile on his face, his arms instantly wrapping around Y/N’s frame.

“Y’know..there are empty seats right there.” The soft brown-eyed boy gestured with the flick of his thick head as Y/N raises her eyes looking down at him, pretending to be slightly offended.

“Oh I see how it is then. It’s cool...Ill just cuddle with Tessa instead. I know she would welcome me with open arms instead of—” As she slowly starts getting off his chest, Tom is quick to pull her back in, securing her with his strong arms. “No baby, I was just kidding. I want you right here, and Im never letting you go.” he pleas.

The only thing Y/N could manage was letting out a fit of giggles into his chest, a sound that Tom adored and would do absolutely anything to hear every minute of every day. They stay like this for a while enjoying the feeling of each other as they both run their hands into each others hair, the feeling of their chests moving up and down, the subtle thumps of their heartbeats, and the little slips of adoration that came out of their mouths. It was peaceful. A moment that nobody could really take a way because it was theirs.

Y/N casually pulls up her phone, and scrolls through Twitter when she noticed a particular tweet on her timeline. Her eyebrows furrow, as she read the 160 character message.

Why Tom Holland Should Be With Aaliyah Cole and Dump Y/N: A Thread.

She knew it wasnt a good idea to open up the thread. She knew very well that everything within the shallow string of tweets would be a complete waste of her time because it was made up by fans who just wanted to satisfy their fantasy of shipping Tom with his co-star. Who can blame them? They always had great chemistry, but it was part of the job and thats all it would ever be.

“You’re awfully quiet.” Tom murmurs, as he places soft kisses at the crown of her head. “Whats going on?” She was lucky her phone was facing away from Tom, quickly closing the app and pretending to be on one of her many tabs in Safari.

“Mmm..nothing.” Y/N lies softly, a tight-lipped smiled plastered on her face.

“Absolute bullocks. Youre not a very good liar.” He chuckles. “Tell me darling. Whats on your mind?”

Y/N rolls her eyes in response. She’s heard that comment one too many times in her life from everyone shes known. After not giving it much thought, she gives in, sighing heavily. “Dont judge me for what Im about to say.”

“Mmm...I think it might depend on wha— Ow” Tom reacts as he playfully rubs the side of his chest that Y/N hit. “Okay too soon for jokes. Go on.”

Again, Y/N sighs as she props herself up. “Its just ... well a lot of your fans keeps talking about wanting you to get with Aaliyah.” She looks down trying not to make eye contact with Tom, who she’d imagine was looking at her with annoyance.

Tom rolls his eyes at the ridiculousness. Not so much at Y/N but the fact that some of his fans just didnt want to accept the fact that he was happy with Y/N. If it had to come from his mouth to stop the stupid rumors and give his girlfriend peace, then hed gladly yell it from the rooftops for everyone to hear. “Thats it Im making a statement about it.”

Y/N’s eyes widen in fear, scrambling to prevent him from grabbing his phone on the table next him. “No no no no.” She repeatedly declines. “You’ll only make it worse.”

“Darling, Im not going to stand here and watch you get all insecure because of their delusional ship.”

“Yeah well Im not gonna be the reason your fans hate me because Im getting in the way of your friendship with Aaliyah Cole.” She fires back.

Tom was ready to open his mouth only to be cut off once again. “And you know better. That is how your fans will always see it.”

“Okay, are you done?” He calmly asked, cautiously observing her. Rarely did Y/N ever get worked up about anything, but when she had her tangents, Tom always made sure she got off everything she needed to say before he becomes her voice of reason.

“Yeah, I guess.” she says feeling defeated. “Look its whatever and Im tired, can we just let this go and forget this whole conversation even happened?”

Tom was unconvinced, but didnt want to push her further. So reluctantly, he gave in and wrapped his arms around Y/N as they both tried to lull themselves to sleep.

***

Y/N wasnt sure how she ended up in the Tube. It was strange how the lights flickered off the rusted tile floor. The train was no where to be seen, but off to the side of the railroads was pitch black, she could hardly see beyond. To her right she noticed herself standing in the corner of the room, and to her surprise Aaliyah was there. Her milk chocolate kissed skin, and fashionably long frizzy hair dropped down past her shoulders. Her figure long and poised, as she wore a rain jacket and sweats. An outfit only she could pull off and make it look like she was a model for Vogue. Aasliyah smiles brightly at Y/N.

“Hey Y/N.” She says cheerfully as a genuine friend would.

To Y/N’s surprise she greeted her back in the same tone. “Hey Aaliyah...uhh whats going on?” Y/N wasnt sure if she wanted the answer of how they both ended up in the Tube or if she truly wanted to know how her day went.

“Well Im getting ready to present at the Oscars.” She replies, a smile plastered as if she was so excited about it, almost too excited like she was keeping a secret.

“Really? Oh my god, that’s amazing! Im so proud of you Aaliyah! Who are you taking?”

Aaliyah pauses for a few moment looking back and forth, making sure no one else was around. “Okay can you keep a secret?” She whispered.

Y/N nods her head slowly, not having the slightest clue of what was going on. “Im taking Tom. I think he really likes me, and well...I like him too! Do you think maybe I should ask him when we go?” Aaliyah asked genuinely. It was almost like she had no recollection of Y/N and Tom being a couple. “I think we would look good together. Everyone is already making rumors and ships about us.”

Y/N backs aways lowly only to bump into a broad figure. As she turns around she sees Tom, emotionless and almost sad. “Y/N.” He speaks out. “I dont think this is going to work out. Im leaving you.”

Y/N’s heart quickens, and her breaths become shorter as she tries to find a way to run. Running and running into the darkness, until all she could hear was Tom’s faint voice calling out her name.

***

“Y/N! Y/N! Baby wake up please.” Tom cries as he gently shakes his girlfriend from her disturbed sleep.

Quickly Y/N opens her eyes and clutches on to Toms hoodie firmly. Back home, and in Toms arms. It was a dream was all she thought. A sigh of relief escaping from her mouth.

“Darling...” he speaks softly, worried about his girlfriend. “Are you okay?”

Y/N looks up at him and nods frantically. “Mmm..bad dream.”

“Yeah it seemed like it. You were so frightened...I was scared. What happened?” He’s looking at her, trying to read her saddened eyes, wanting to desperately understand what scared her so he could make it all go away for her.

Y/N looks down at her fiddling hands, as she sits on the couch. “I uhh...” she lets out a chuckle, thinking of the ridiculousness of it all. “I uhh...dreamed about Aaliyah going to the oscars and saying how she loved you and how you two are perfect for each other. When I turned around I saw you but you werent happy and said you were leaving me.”

Tom doesnt say a word, all he could think about was how sorry he felt to put Y/N in this position. Though both of them knew, It wasnt Toms fault, or anyone’s for that matter. Feelings are feelings and that was okay. No human being was ever born perfect and without insecurities.

Y/N always tried to be a good sport with situations like this knowing every shippers theory and evidence were hardly ever true, but at some point there was only so much she could take before it all came out like an oil spill. Maybe it was a sign that she wasnt good enough to be with Tom if half of his fanbase thought this way as well.

Tom cradled her into his arms again, holding her tightly and kissing the top of her head. “Darling, I know youre still doubting yourself about all of this, but please believe me when I tell you that I love you so so much and no matter what happens...Im always yours.” He whispers gently in her ear. “It was only a dream and these ridiculous rumors and theories are just that. No one woman in the world could ever make me feel the way I feel for you.”

Y/N blinks softly, as she stares into space. Afraid and in a weird way ashamed, its funny how something so small and so minimal could affect her self-esteem so greatly. Tom gently brings her head up, so her eyes can meet his. He rolls his thumb on the bottom of her soft lips. “Hey, I love you.” Tom smiles.

Time stopped for the both of them the moment Y/N looked into his eyes, she felt safe. All the bad words and thoughts slowly disappear. Tom was right, none of the things that anyone said about their relationship mattered. She knew Tom loved her, and how much she truly loved him. Isnt that enough? Of course not. It was more than enough. A smile slowly forming on Y/N’s face. “Theres that smile I love so much.” He comments.

“Im sorry, for being such a —”

“No. Its okay. You have a right to feel the way you did.” He picks up her hand and leaves a gentle kiss.

“I love you so much Tom.” She says pressing her lips to his. “I dont deserve you.”

“Darling, its me that doesnt deserve you. Im always yours.” Tom proclaims as he kisses her back.

[tezzbot]

applejack headcanons in a sort of timeline i have in my head based on the flashbacks/statements in the show lol this is gonna get long i apologise

aj is born in the sweet apple acres barn to bright mac and pear butter :D

we get the apple family reunion episode flashback where she is lichrally baby asking for apple fritters 🥺

she grows up a bit, just by family gene pool luck shes a strong little fucker and as she grows her family realises she's not just physically strong but strong willed too, it becomes a running joke that shes secretly part mule with how stubborn she can be :P

bright mac had a dog from when he was younger that he loved with all his heart, big mac loved him too but applejack thought was a grumpy old lump of a beast she just Did Not Like This Animal you know how kids can be lmaooo

applejack and big mac dont really leave the farm all that much, theyre homeschooled by their parents and granny smith so, generally they dont have that many friends their age in their childhood, they say hi and play a bit with fillies and colts they pass while helping out with deliveries, aj and rarity possibly have a few interactions through this but nothing really sticks at this point, they know each others names and thats probably it, the apple siblings are a big hit with usual customer and ponies who sell them things in the market

pear butter teaches aj how to play the guitar and she practices until her hooves hurt, her ma is very proud of her, they like to play duets when they have some alone time :] then, deciding to branch out from that applejack also picks up other instruments like the banjo and the fiddle, they find out she has quite a knack for music! (applejack is only slightly disappointed she doesnt get her cutie mark from it, but unlike applebloom would be in the future, she doesnt mind all that much, after all granny smith always said it'd come with time 😌)

not long after little applebloom is born we get the great seedling episode flashback which is a turning point in applejack, a moment like finding out santa or the tooth fairy isnt real, she matures a little bit that day, gains more of the work ethic we see in her as an adult

around this time is when bright mac and pear butter die :( i dont have a concrete headcanon on How they die but the dangerous trade routes the apples have to take to make deliveries may have had something to do with it, or maybe they were trying to protect the farm from something coming from the everfree forest, im not sure

the rest of the apple family make their way to sweet apple acres to give their condolences and help out in any way they can around the farm while our apples grieve :( its sad but it brings aj and big mac closer than they'd ever been

after shes recovered a little from that, i think aj kind of loses herself, i mean how can you not after losing both parents :(( so she decides to leave the farm in the hopes she'll be able to find herself again in manehattan, this is the cutie mark chronicles flashback and where she realises she belongs in ponyville, Runs home and gets her cutiemark

after a little bit, to help her become a little bit more social with foals her age, applejack goes to camp friendship where she meets little coloratura and the two Immediately click, aj gives her new best friend the nickname rara and they're practically inseparable the whole summer, their friendship starts to grow into something more but rara is heading back to manehatten after camp and applejack belongs back in ponyville, so they decide to give a lonb distance relationship a try, they manage to exchange letters back and forth for a long time, ultimately deciding a long distance relationship wasnt gonna work so they mutually decide to break up but still stay pen pals! after a while, the letters stop and they become just a memory in one anothers minds

sweet apple acres eventually returns to a business as usual state, with groups of relatives stopping by the farm now and again to give a helping hoof considering its now run by a late-middle aged lady, two children and a baby lol, applejack, while still doing a lot of tree bucking, is starting to take on a more maternal figure role in applebloom's life as well as being her sister, her and big mac feels more responsible and protective of the foal since she would be growing up with no ma and pa, they sort of took on those roles, applejack more intensely i guess i just see her as having strong maternal instincts embedded in her or something lol, but she for sure isnt "single mom"ing it, with granny smith and other relatives ready to take the little bugger when aj needs to get stuff done :P it takes a village and all that lmao

since at this time aj and big mac are starting to go into town more often and are free to do as they please as long as their chores get done, they start actually interacting more with teens their age in ponyville! applejack starts hanging out with fillies like rarity who she had known in passing but now could finally get to know and the cake's new apprentice and ponyvilles youngest party planner, pinkie pie

after starting to hit some awkward growth spurts as she reaches her teens lol, she starts taking an interest in the business side of the farmwork too, dealings with customers, looking into trade routes stuff like that, this is when the where the apple lies flashback takes place i fuckin love that episode please watch it, and this starts applejack's lifelong promise to never lie ever again which she keeps bc shes a legend as fuck <3

one day aj notices cloudsdale passing through probably to start preparing ponyville for the next season, and she hears a Thud coming from a row or two over from where she's working, she goes over to investigate to find a pegasus filly shaking off what aj can only assume was a crash, she asks if shes alright, n the filly is like of course i am im so tough toughest around actually thanks<3 and aj is internally like hm. this kids kinda annoying. they introduce themselves and applejack finds out rainbow dash is looking for her friend fluttershy, she likes to come down from cloudsdale to play with animals or something, but applejack hasnt seen any yellow pegasi fillies around so the little blue filly says thanks anyway and zips off at what aj can only describe as probably the speed of light, she somehow has a strange feeling this isnt gonna be the last she sees of this kid

she turns out to be right when shes invited to a happy visit to ponyville from cloudsdale party thrown for rainbow and fluttershy, apparently rainbow had bumped into pinkie while asking around ponyville for any idea where fluttershy and of course pinkie Had to make an event out of it once she had helped rainbow find her friend, the party was of course a lot of fun rainbow and aj somehow managed to turn every party game into a competition and despite their first impressions of one another they actually got along really well and gained a good amount of respect for each other, aj eventually found fluttershy sort of hiding away from most of the party and fluttershy actually opened up a little after talking with aj bc of how calming her presence was for her

over the next few years the five got to know each other quite well, anytime cloudsdale passed by rainbow and fluttershy would drop into ponyville to hang out or just say hi, and once they were old enough they moved into their ponyville houses and the five of them became just a regular friend group youd see hanging out on the streets of ponyville, fluttershy helps aj pick out a border collie puppy for help with wrangling critters on the farm (applebloom was getting too old to be sent off to mindlessly run after little animals all the time and she had started going to school so she wasnt around as much lmaoo) and just as a companion for applejack, she names her Winona :]

and then after those few years Twilight shows up! you know the rest from there :P

if i missed anything uhhh whoops<3 lol

[dantelionwishes]

I WANNA HEAR D'S THOUGHTS ON JEN'S QUESTION Spill the beans! You've even got me curious now!

“Do you think Rose is a good person?”

I’ll answer not just Jen’s question, but generally thoughts surrounding D and Rose’s relationship!! It’s gonna be long because I think about this a WHOOOOOOLE lot, and I seriously mean a whole lot,,, so read ahead!

btw, if you think Rose is a bad person and D hates him, that’s where you’re mistaken! IT’S MY STORY MY HEADCANONS SO IF U DONT WANNA READ THIS THEN DONT BRO HJASGJHASHJ

PRE-ETERNATUS, CHALLENGER ARC

Ive mentioned before, but D and the chairman had a fairly good relationship!!

In-game, rose is very interested in the player and talks to you a lot, so honestly not much changes here

D, in his challenger phase, is forcibly very loud and flamboyant. being overly animated and confident, he’s able to keep up with rose who likes to chat and banter with him 

When d talks to people, he KNOWS he’s being over-the-top, which is why he feels very awkward doing it (when people point it out, it makes it painfully awkward and embarrassing for them. Point in case: bede and Marnie!)

Rose finds him a very interesting trainer and observes D a lot. Its not hard to notice how hard he’s trying, but rose doesn’t point this out and genuinely moves along with what D’s vibes are as to not make him feel any more humiliated 

D is aware that Rose is playing along with his act, and thanks to this it really builds up trust like!! Oh the chairman isn’t making fun of me and genuinely finds me interesting and strong!!!! the chairman!! What a morale boost!!!!!! 

Again, its genuinely (funny and) awkward when D is being his over-the-top animated self, and its easy to point this out (which most people do, from his rivals to other trainers, to even gym leaders) but the only people who dont actively point it out AND act along would be his mom, hop, Leon, and rose! 

in addition, D has a pretty high-pitched voice so its easy to tell he’s trans?? He was worried he was going to be misgendered by such an all-important person like the chairman, but was surprised when rose immediately was just comfortable with calling him a “young man”

Another cute trivia thing during this stage was that they both are wearing shades for their “incognito mode” and D even gives the chairman some fashion tips for the next time he goes out!

It actually pisses off bede with how much rose and d talk;;;;;;  def one of the reasons why d and bede fight hhhh

The part of the plot where they head to rose tower, D was actually very against it in the beginning, saying that he could actually just try and call up the chairman if he wanted to! He tries and tries, but then starts to panic once he does in fact realise that something isnt right 

Even after storming thru rose tower and defeating oleana, d eVEN TRIES TO INVITE ROSE TO THEIR DINNER (MY BOY IS THINKIN: A DINNER WITH HIS FAV PPL!! HOP, LEON, AND ROSE!! the only one missing would be his mom) ……….but r-rose dismisses it with a smile, saying maybe next time…………..

D is a meek, insecure person who is easily broken down, so he really needs a lot of support to keep moving sO JUST IMAGINE this baby boy who puts trust in someone suddenly goes batshit and you have to defeat them with ur own hands????? Wowza. 

POST-ETERNATUS, NEWLY APPOINTED CHAMPION

OH BOY EVERYONE KNOWS HOW THIS FUCKIN GOES IF THEY REMEMBER MY FIRST POSTS JHASGJHHJAS

Ive already shown this via an illustration + a short Drabble, but its only after the eternatus battle that their father-son relationship is revealed

The game really doesnt show how serious the eternatus battle was, but for me: Leon was hospitalised for quite some time and wasn’t allowed to battle D until he healed up. At the same time, this gave D a lot of time to think about wHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED

I dont mention it, but this is where his gym leader au starts off from the canon timeline!! At this point, D is calling his mom or talking to hop or just locking himself up and is just generally in a panicked state where he feels like dropping out of the challenge, feeling overwhelmed with what just happened

ANYWAY IM HERE TO TALK ABT ROSE AND D but lets just say his Pokemon convince him to continue!!   

at the same time of his win, gossip went around quick and not only is D now very popular for suddenly defeating the unbeatable champion Leon, but is actually the “villainous” chairman rose’s son!??!?!?!??!! 

POOR SON BOY IS OVERWHELMED ONCE MORE, HELP HIM.

He actually escapes to the isle of armour + crown tundra as a way to give him time to think about this more (isle of armour: personal time for himself to think alone, crown tundra: chance to spend time with relatives he didn’t know he had) 

OK GENUINE RELATIONSHIP ANALYZATION TIME:

After becoming champion, he really didnt go see rose at all, feeling a plenty mix of frustration, sadness, anger, betrayal, but!! his feelings dont simply surround the “oh the adult I trusted was actually bad and lied to me“ or “wtf hes the dad who wasn’t there for me and is the reason why mom is alone how dare he” IT REALLY WAS A MIX OF BOTH HGHHGHH

But its BECAUSE he was close to him in the first place that he knows rose wasn’t just….straight up a bad person or a villain

The important part here was that rose and D were close during the challenger part, and our lad had a lot of time to think about how he was simply a good, misguided man

rose is very passionate about the things he cares about, to the point of doing anything and everything for them (ex. Awakening eternatus for Galar’s sake to the point of accidentally getting darkest day, or even working hard for Miriam’s sake to the point of accidentally never being there for her anymore) 

Yeah, d talked to a whole lot of people to think this over. He learned what happened between rose and his mom while talking to her, and D also learned what happened between peony and rose to further understand what’s up!!

In the process, I like to think both Miriam and peony dont hate rose! D was also an important factor in helping the both of them realise and clear up a few things, and at least, in their minds, stay on good terms with rose 

During both DLC arcs, D is silent at first but slowly n surely starts sending small letters to Rose :’))

YAY ACTUAL INTERACTION????

After a lot of thought on his self-journey, its safe to say that D had felt a lot more comfortable, finally talking to rose after the galarian star tournament arc !!

Ive mentioned before, but its not like D has to start from scratch since they had a good relationship as challenger and chairman beforehand anyway

D wants a dad! He does want to meet his dad, and at the same time rose regrets not making time for his lover and future family, so I’d say after pushing away the initial negative awkwardness they do both have the same, genuine goal in mind to talk to each other and build a good relationship with each other!!!!!!

Ive also said before but like ONE OF D’S FEARS IS…..”WHAT IF I MEET MY DAD AND HES TRANSPHOBIC” YKNO???? So knowing that rose already thinks hes already perfect in his eyes, IT REALLY DOES WONDERS TO A YOUNG BOY YKN O ?? ? ? ? ?? 

Uhhhhh honestly I really dont know how jail works and shit sO LETS JUST SAY D VISITS REGULARLY IF HES NOT BUSY WITH CHAMPION DUTIES!!!

Also I have nO idea what oleana means by “WHERE IS CHAIRMAN ROSE” cos like….iSNT HE JUST VIBIN IN JAIL??????? Lets just say he is sdghjjhsdhj

TL;DR

D had a lot, and I mean A LOT, of time to think about Rose. He does not have any ill intentions or feelings towards him, and the two have a hopeful, slowly budding father-and-son relationship. 

[sapphicomenn]

WELCOME TO MY THOUGHTS WHILE REWATCHING THE MCU IN TIMELINE ORDER: THE AVENGERS

“the tesseract has awakened” oh you mean the glowy cube from captain america AND captain marvel? THAT glowly cube?? cool looking stairs- ew who tf are you? the grim reaper??

what the fuck is a chitauri and why does it sound like sea food. “a world will be his. the universe, yours.” STOP BLAMING THE PRONOUN GAME AND GIVE ME NAMES FFS

ooo shield base. “not a drill.” oh shits going down- COULSON. FUURRRYYY FUCK YEAH. the best marvel characters are here the movie has peaked- oldman from thor is here?? intoresting. and who the hell is this woman tryna question fury??

the glowy cube is a shE???????? HUH??????? oh hey its hawkeye the badass archer guy. oh shit things are going down. the cube is sparking and swirling??- IT OPENED A PORTAL

LOKKIII YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD WELCOME BACK. HE HAS A SHOOTY MAGIC SPEAR LIKE A BADASS. he just took out a bunch or shield with a shooty spe- OHMYGODS HE CAN CONTROL MINDS WITH IT.

“loki. brother of thor.” OLDMAN STFU

GUNS GO PEW PEW ALONG SIDE A GOOD OLD CAR CHASE SKSHSKKSHS. RUN FURY RUNNN. the portal imploded on itself like a moron hA

WHO TF NAMES THEIR CHILD “HILL” WTF. “we are at war.” NO SHIT SHERLOCK A NORSE GOD STOLE THE CUBE YOU WERE SUPPOST TO PROTECT

tis a train and a old building- NATASHA. how tf were you taken hostage? im so glad i have subtitles on otherwise i wouldnt understand a thing these ppl are saying. HOW TF IS SHE KICKING ASS WHILE TIED TO A CHAIR WHAT IN THE HELL-

oh his leg deff broke once he fell off the ledge tied to a chain. cut to a lil gorl running to find a doctor- who tf this is of course. THIS GUY IS BANNER??? i mean im glad they changed the actor but wtf. “theres no one that knows gamma radiation like you do.” YA DONT SAY, ROMANOFF. “STOP LYING TO ME” JESUS FUCK THAT MADE ME JUMP

oh damn shield has their own O5 council? cool. EXPLAIN WHAT PHASE2 IS ALREADY. also dont say thor is bad he is a giant puppy dog with a war-boner.

oh hi steve, working off that PTSD by beating the shit out of a punching bag ay? oh right steve knows the glowy cube. “at this point i doubt anything would surprise me.” “ten bucks says you’re wrong” welp ya owe him ten bucks steve

“is there anything you can tell us about the tesseract to help us now?” “you should’ve left it in the ocean.” WELL THAT HELPS ALOT DOESNT IT. hello there iron man, at the bottom of the ocean.? sure why the hell not

aye stark tower’s about to have clean energy, yay stark! “stark tower, is your baby.” how do you give birth to a tower.???????? KSHSJSHSKSJS COULSON BROKE INTO THE TOWER “is first name is agent.” TONY SKSHKSSHKSVSKSHSKS

*whisper whisper whisper* yeah she bribed tony with sex so he’d work on the avengers and stuff. “the guys like a stephen hawking.” “. . .” “hes like a smart person”

awh coulson is fangirling over steve- watched you while you were sleepin- man you’re awkward. you adorable dumbass. ohshit underground musky lab- OLDMAN AND LOKI

the world is breaking around loki. sea food army is restless- shut the fuck up you stupid looking eye wrapped bastard. WHO THE HELL IS THIS HE?????? welcome back to earth you smexy man

FLOATING WATER BASE

back to avenger tingz. man coulson is the biggest cap fan- oh its a giant sub- NO ITS A GIANT FLYING BASE HOLYSHIT SHIELD THATS AMAZING.

now we go into the meetings and talking related stuff :I yey. “lets vanish” wdym- IT HAD A CLOAKING DEVICE. HA STEVE JUST GAVE THE TEN HE OWED SKSHSKHSKSJS

i dont understand a word of all the science stuff they just said but yay. “i need a distraction. and an eyeball” barton what the fuck why do you need an eye.?

oh lokis in germany, at a very fancy party might i add. loki is best boy ever. even if he just bonked a the head/ OHMYGOD AND STOLE HIS FUCKING EYE JESUS CHRIST INFRONT OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE.??????

“i said. KNEEEEL” dont need to tell me twice-

blagh villain speeches are the worst. why tf did this old guy stand up “not to men like you.” shut up. SHOOT HIM- wtf. steve what the hell are you wearing? what the fuck is that- aye tonnnyyy!!!! he hacked into the jet thingy and started playing music from the speaker thats the best.

CAPSICLE SKSHSKSHKSHSKSJ- ohfuck thunder. THOR WELCOME TO THE PARTY. “im not overly fond of what follows” WKVSKSBSKSHSJS

HE JUST BROKE INTO THE JET AND STOLE LOKI FROM EM. “theres only one god ma’am. and im sure he doesnt dress like that.” cap stfu

“i thought you were dead.” “did you mourn.” damn loki thats harsh. thor is angy at his brother. “you listen well brot-ARGH” “..im listening?” STARK YOU CHOSE THAT MOMENT TO BODY SLAM THOR OFF THAT CLIFF AND LEAVE LOKI BEHIND? REALLY?

“.. tourist.” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT KICK HIS ASS, THOR. DONT KILL HIM WITH LIGHTNING THO

if someone throwed me against a tree i wouldnt be walking. im just saying

“THATS ENOUGH.” cap did you think that would work?? and how the hell did your dinner plate stop the power of thor

loki do be in jail tho. how’s this gonna go wrong- oh he smiled at banner. THATS how it goes wrong

tell him off fury! “you have made me very disapoin-“ OH NVM HE SAYS DESPERATE IGNORE THIS

“uNlimiteD pOoWeRRRRR”

“let me know if real power wants a magazine or something.” good comeback fury. i think

“loki is beyond reason, but he is of asgard. and he is my brother” “he killed 80 people in two days.” “he’s adopted.” KSBSKSJSJSJSK

“that man is playing galaga. he thought we wouldnt notice, but we did.” TONYKANSKSHKSJSKSJ tony is a fucking legend. “finally someone who speaks english!” “is that what just happened?” steve stfu you’re a fighty man not a smart man

“i do! . . . i understood that reference.” steve nvm keep talking please. PLEASE THE MAN IS STILL PLAYING GALAGA SOSJSKSJSJKS

why is tony eating blueberrys- where the hell did he get blueberrys. “we have orders. we should start following them.” steve you tried to get into the army under fake locations for months AND broke into a german base when you were a showpony. stfu about following rules

“so you’re saying the hulk.. the other guy? saved me” yes. yes we are saying that, banner. aye steve go break into shit like you’re suppost to :D

oh hi again oldman, welcome back. yay shield saved padme, and awh oldman talked about thor alot. thor i love you alot. loki just tell nat where tf you left barton :/ oh barton was sent to KILL nat?? not hire her?? well that went downhill. whomst the hell is dreykov- sao paulo- the hospital fire???? hawkeye wtf why’d you spill it all to loki.

mewley quim wtf kind of insult is that- oh damn nat figured out the hulk is lokis next plan of attack. PHASE TWO IS TO USE THE GLOWY CUBE TO MAKE FUCKING WEAPONS? SHIELD WHAT THE HELL

HA FURY TRIED TO LIE IS WAY OUTTA IT BUT BC STARK HACKED INTO IT ALL HE JUST EXPOSED HIMSKHSKSJSKS

WAIT THEY WERE MADE FOR THOR AND ASGARDIANS? WHAT THE FUCK SHIELD- oh damn lokis staff is the reason they’re all at eachother. probably

“yeah. big man in a suit of armor. take that off what are you?.” “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.” well you’re not wrong

guys stop fighting, HAWKEYE IS BREAKING IN. “in case you needed to kill me. but you cant. i know, i tried.” awh thats sad, i wanna hug banner so bad :(

OHSHIT AN ENTIRE WING GOT BLOWN UP THE FLYING BASE IS GOING DOWN- HULKS COMING OUT THATS NOT GOOD. the transforming is scary- RUN NAT

loki stop smiling because the plan is going your way. “it seems to run on some form of electricity.” “well you’re not wrong” tony stop being funny this isnt fair

HULK JUMPSCARE JESUS CHRIST- NAT GOT BITCHSLAPPED THROUGH A WALL- YAY THOR TO SAVE THE DAY. HAMMER TIME BABYY

*B O N K*

hulk trying to pick the hammer up is funny. BRIDGE IS UNDER ATTACK. DO YOU THINK SHOOTING HULK IS A GOOD IDEA??? HE JUST TOOK OUT FIGHTER JET AND ALMOST KILLED THE GUY FLYING IT

CAP IS KICKING ASS- OH GOD NO THE ENGINES ARE FAILING. OHGOD LOKI IS OUT- THOR YOU DUMBFUCK DID YOU FORGET LOKI CAN DO MAGIC SHIT? NOW YOU’RE STUCK IN THE GLASS CONTAINER

COULSON SAVE THOR! SHOOT LOKI DAMNIT- COULSON NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

glass cage go brrrrr

HA LOKI GOT FUCKIN SHOT BY COULSON BEFORE HE DIES( :( ) tony almost got minced by the engine thingys

im gonna cry coulson how dare your death make me sad :(( stupid heart breaking aftermath moments.

thor is stuck in a field, banner fell through the roof of a building. awh the security guard is so nice :) barton is a fucking mess right now “how’d you get him out?” “i hit you on the head really hard.” KSJSKKSSK

tony figured out lokis plan- ITS TAKING PLACE AT HIS TOWER? THE AVENGERS IS TAKING ACTION BABY LETS GOOOO

wait a fucking moment, the cards coulson has are covered in blood. so you’d think they were on him when he was stabbed- yet hill just said they were in his locker “they needed the push.” FURY YOU RUINED NEAR MINT VINTAGE COLLECTABLE CARDS TO MOTIVATE SUPER FREAKS???

o hi loki welcome to stark tower

“stalling wont change-“ “no no, threatening. no drink? ya sure? im having one.”

“i have an army.” “we have a hulk.” HE SAID IT, HE SAID THE LINE

HA LOKI CANT TAKE STARKS MIND BC HIS HEART IS SOME TECHY METAL CRAPKSJSKSJSKS- i guess choking and tossing him around works. so does throwing hik out a window

oh no the glowy cube just opened a portal for the army of seafood. they look like creatures from halo.

BROTHER FIGHT

CHAOS EVERYWHERE

PLANE DOWN PLANE DOWN

what the fuck just growled- HOLYSHIT THEY HAVE A SPACE LEVIATHAN. it looks badass ngl. loki redemption arc? nope he just stabbed thor.

SPACE BIKE GO BRRRRR

yes because arrows and guns will stop the, alien monsters with lazer arms. some how its working. “just like budapest all over again.” “you and i remember budapest very differently.” WTF HAPPENED AT BUDAPEST BARTON AND NAt, HUH?

cap just scared the shit outta some police men HAHA

“i have unfinished business with loki.” “yeah? get in line” barton is snarky right now. banner just rides up on a motercycle like “hi what i’d miss”

“im bringing the party to you.” stark says while being chased by a giant metal space whale who’s crashing and crushing everything in its path along a street

“thats my secret cap. im always angry.” FUCK YEAH BANNER MESS THAT SPACE WHALE UP. HE JUST PUNCHED A GIANT FUCKING WHALE THING.

the music, the avengers circling around. its amazing. well things are gonna get worse bc more space whales showed up

“and hulk. . . smash.”

LIGHT THEM FUCKERS UP, THOR. shield maybe instead of watching, maybe, oh i dont know. HELP THEM???

i dont know what else to say other then its alot of fighting and smashing alien faces into the ground

hulk and thor kicking ass on the back of a space whale is awesome. HULK WHY DID YOU PUNCH HIMSJSOSHSKJSKSJSKSKSKSK

i fuxking love when steve turtle shells behind his shield.

“director fury. the council has made a decision.” “i recognize the council has made a decision. but given its a stupid-ass decision, i have elected to ignore it.” fury never stop being awesome

loki thought he was so smug when he caught bartons arrow, then it blew up in his face. literally IKSKSKSKSKS

HULK FUCK LOKI UP! JSHSKSGKSHSJSHSJSJ HE JUST TOSSED LOKI AROUND LIKE A RAGDOLL “puny god.” “*pained wheezing from a smooshed loki*”

oh damn- OH DAMN, STARK. he just jonahed the fucking whale thing and blew it up from the inside. well now the city has a nuke coming for it :/

yall have a chance to shut the portal down, and tony, you want to go INTO that portal and throw the nuke in? wtf stark.

TONY GO BACK TO EARTH DAMNIT FUCKING BASTARD PASSED OUT. yay hulk saved his stupid ass. do cpr.? mayb.? or a hulk roar will wake him up KEJSKJSKSSKJS

tony. you just blew up a alien command center with a nuke, passed out and fell to earth through a portal. and you want, shawarma?

and now back to loki. “if its all the same to you, i’d like that drink now.” ISHSKSJSJSJSKSJSJ

STAN LEEE

the people love em. yey

council lady stfu about the avengers being a threat. they just said the earth and you’re worried about them going rouge??

“if we get into a situation like this again, what happens then?” “they’ll come back.” i mean theres three more avenger movies so i assume so. remodaling stark towers so its the avenger tower? neat!

NEXT MOVIE: IRON MAN 3

*MID CREDIT SCENE* oh hi again mr no eyes. do we get to see this HE? OH WE DO. o hi mr 10 chins

once again ignore the misspells it was three AM when i finally finished this and im just now rereading it

[kani-champi]

Some random thought about UltDirk ( i guess do not read if you havent read epilogues/hs^2/pesterquest )

eI will put a warning and keep reading for those interested, there is a lot of text, also TW : talk of suicide

By making my way through the homestuck fandom i have seen quite the few posts where they talk about a character killing Ult Dirk ( Dave, Kanaya, Altcalliope etc etc ) , and by his definition, i guess i know it would not be possible, if he is truly who he says his powers are ( “ all potentiality of who you are and what you could have been flow together  “ ) rendering him very hard to kill as long as there is a Dirk lurking somewhere ( even if i refuse to believe that all of the personas make him such a douchebag, specially when taking in consideration that Pesterquest exists. )

I think that its because Pesterquest exists that he felt the need to intervene, he doesnt need a happy Dirk, any less one that could meet an Adult Dave and have the point of view of actually not sacrificing his self and meeting a heroic destiny ( at quite the influencial age ) Thats also why he took one with him. And technically i think that by locking the timeline we incidentally made it no longer intervene on his canon self.

Thats not really the point i wanted to make ( i have a lot of thoughts and feelings about how as a character he could meet a pleasant end ) It would not be in the interest of the author to just repeat what he has done for his whole lives  : Suicide and sacrificing his selves to serve the narrative. And hum yeah, no one with a schred of sense would think that he is okay. I already said somewhere else that he is a perfectionnist, and by killing himself over and over he keeps searching for the perfect him, somehow who keeps others interested, because that’s how he connects with people, by making himself relevant ( be it good or bad, mostly bad, because he asks to his self a level of work that is not humain, and to others ( as seen with Jake and Dave ) something abusive. Like you have such expectation on yourself that you put so much onto others. Anyway.

Killing him would be just doing what he has done over and over, he would just spawn again, or not, but never finds what he truly strive for. Seeing his younger self really searching for the connection he never had ( being raised completely alone surrounded by himself )made me think we just miss one link to actually change everything. He don’t know how to connect with people, not before and not now. It makes me sad because death is what he is searching, deep down. Who in is right mind would decapitate himself so many times. Who would search the one way to get a ticket to an easy death, adventure ( for example the Meat John who is an easy exemple of what heroism seems to do in this story ). Sburb spawned so many deaths and him feeling inadequate on Earth C candy make me think boy just has a constant suicide feeling, and nobody to help him. ( give ma boy therapy ). I just talk and talk but Pesterquest Dirk made me sad, about who Dirk thinks his ultimate self is. Nevertheless i don’t think he is truly evil, he searchs attention deep down.

I dont want Dirk Strider to die again and again, to continue sacrificing himself because he thinks this is the right thing.

( please if you have another opinion you can share it, but only if it’s somehow thought out a bit. I know it is just me playing Pesterquest and seeing my boys and being sad about it. No i don’t condone what Bro did because it is a really shitty dick thing to do that would only deserve jail. Yes i still think Alpha Dirk need to understand he is enough and people can and will love him. )

[leviathiane]

Fic Rec Friday - One Piece (SFW)

I am going to make this a thing. Even if its just me and like 3 people see it lol 

Ao3 Edition!

The Wanderer (MaiKusakabe) - Marco isn’t the firstmate of the Whitebeards. He’s never even met them, actually– he’s not even a pirate. But Whitebeard wants him to be one. Badly. // High Contender for my Favorite OP fic I’ve read out of all of them. Im just weak in the knees for reluctant/In-denial!Marco and the entire crew trying to reach out to their (future) eldest brother. Also has Immortal!Marco implications and im LIVING for it

Being Human (MaiKusakabe) - Slave!Marco gets taken in by Whitebeard // Listen yall know im gay for Marco-centric angst but this one really takes me by the lapels and shakes me to pieces ok i am laid low 

To Build a Home (endlessblankpages) - ASL pirates get recruited (read: kidnapped) by the Whitebeards as an apology for a misunderstanding and it All Spirals From There // Very well put together, and Completed! Incredible found-family affection and fondness, som brotherly angst, All Good All Good. 

wish by spirit and if by yes (midnightluck) - Sabo has his memories. A series of shenanigans of him and Ace just trying to take care of each other even with all their chaos and distance, with the Whitebeards and Koala as unwitting audience. // The exasperation and family affection got me fucked all the way up. Midnightluck consistently has my favorite characterization of Sabo out of everything I’ve read. 

Clipped Wings (Beyond_Kailani) - Sabo gives up everything, as long as it means his brother’s live freely. Away from his parents. // Angsty and INCREDIBLE found family trope usage. The mental struggle to do what Sabo thinks is necessary to survive vs live his life freely is A+

Trapped in Eternity (Skyleaf19) - Ace is stuck in a long term time loop and his mental health is really, really suffering from it. // this is an angst MELTING POT and i love it. It recently updated off of hiatus but im so excited about it i literally cant focus enough to read it adefsgrth LOTS of the whitebeards trying to help Ace and Ace struggling to pretend he hates them. fantastic. *chef’s kiss* 

Living Dreams (Maikusakabe) - Canon-timeline!Marco wakes up two years in the past. Before Whitebeard died. Before Ace died. Before Thatch died. He doesnt handle it well. // I dont even know where to start this is a bundle of some of my favorite tropes in one completed fic. The angst, the disbelief, the denial– it’s perfect. I’m in love

Inanition (Taizi) - small fic about how Luffy’s body works differently than his crewmates. // Short, and yet I keep coming back to it. It’s unebelievably sweet, and the tension of things left unsaid and suppressed anger out of worry is incredible.

Beginning the Next Dream (RikoJasmine) - Future!Luffy gets reborn as his own uncle, Garp’s kid and Dragon’s little brother. This changes a lot, esp. the ASL future. // Its still sort of in the beginning and already has 50k and my Heart I s2g every chapter i see updated makes me have to take a moment to calm down before I read it. Really worth the read. Very soft and sweet with the family vibes, and Luffy is a Hysterically overpowered child with haki. 

Guardian (Petiteneko) - Zoro’s POV for pre-post Dressrosa, and how Law slowly, quietly works through his frankly suicidal revenge plan. Includes lulaw // Im weak for outsider!POV mental health and trauma fics. That’s really all you need to know tbh

Acclimating (Justira) - Luffy may be the outspokenly crazy one, but he hand-picked his crew and the rest of the Strawhats are just as on his bullshit despite what they say. Law is struggling through a very nosy crew. // Similar to the fic above, Law trying to leave himself to his own self-harming tendencies and the Strawhats collectively having None Of It. 

Lionheart (cyan96) - Past!Law and Corazon get dumped into canon-timeline!Law’s submarine after a devil fruit incident. Trauma everywhere. // Manages to be funny and heartbreaking at exactly the same time! Lots of deeply buried trauma manifested suddenly and overwhelmingly. Incredible. 

The Games (Stormy1x2) - Humorous little fic about the Whitebeard’s participating in a sort of public-sport game, in which Ace volunteers and has a great time throwing shenanigans everywhere. // very cute!! another outsider!POV type as its in Marco’s POV while Ace runs around and is just excited and adorable. 

Older Brother’s Insight (Abyssal_one) - short fic about Older-brother!Luffy and Younger-brother!Ace w/ the Whitebeards // short and sweet! Im a sucker for role switch AUs and this one really highlights Luffy’s own eccentric sort of capabilities. 

Portgas D. Anne and the War of Shirts (glowingjellyfishtreelights) - Anne just doesnt like shirts. this has nothing to do with anyone else. // it’s Really funny. also incredibly accurate. 

Into Flame (Kurgaya) - Phoenix!Zoro, and the art of Not Actually Being Human But Never Saying That. // includes Zolu! Which usually isnt my jam, but im All Over non-human!AUs and this one is incredible. Zoro has three pairs of wings. Three. That’s wicked.

Pardus (ImperialMint) - A devil fruit materializes Ace’s worst fear. Which means he’s returning to the Moby Dick with Gold Roger himself at his heels. // funny, sad, and cute all at once. Cute family affection moments, lots of Ace being emotionally hurt and confused. 

Legacy (Anjelle) - Ace died and was sent back, all the way back to when his dad still was a pirate on the Oro Jackson. // Lots of emotional turmoil and childhood trauma neatly tied up with some cathartic mental revaluation ;) 

Paperwork of a Phoenix (ventusleone) - Marine!Marco and Marine!Izo happen to meet the Whitebeards during their downtime, every now and then, and, well, its not like theyre on duty. // Recently was completed! Slowburn platonic found-family vibes, a lot of Marco biting off more than he can chew and essentially being adopted in the process. 

Tension Headache and Migraine (JuHuaTai) Marco overworks himself and accidentally snaps at his crewmates, including Ace. // Very tense in the beginning and smooths out to something apologetic and softer. Has some nsfw in the end, overall Fanastic lmao

Tomorrow Never Happens (Midnightluck) - Sabo pickpockets the wrong marine and gets caught. Which sucks on a normal day, except this one is huge, and burly, and an admiral, and apparently his grandfather. // humorous and slightly angsty all at once! Another Sabo-Gets-His-Memories-Back-Canon-Divergence type story, because I am simple and predictable and it’s still fantastic. 

Blue Moon (MyLadyDay) - Werewolf!Marco protects the forest. It just so happens that (Witch?)Ace does so too. // Has some very quiet vibes I really dig, very calm and makes me think of a deep grey-blue color for some reason. Like Full moonlight through the trees. Very cute

[all-hail-the-witcher]

I’m looking for a feel good tv show or movie that is on Netflix or live tv. Got any recommendations? Or just people being dumbasses works too if you can’t think of any feel good tv shows or movies.

people being dumbasses is Definitely legends of tomorrow. its essentially crack. you think its reached its peak? nope, it gets Better. its hilarious and i love it. (maybe skip s1 tho that one isn't good). its found family To The Max. theres a female bisexual ex assassin whos the captain of a time traveling ship and her team (across the seasons) consists of: a proclaimed dead billionaire with a suit that shrinks, two criminals who are snarky Best Bros, a 20 year old mechanic and a doctor of physics who make up a nuclear powered superhero, a badass chick from a tribe in africa who was a member of an elite superhero team and is from 1942, a doctor of history who can turn to steel and always forgets he can turn to steel, a bisexual wizard specializing in the dark arts and only owns one outfit, a shapeshifter whos just a general all around badass and happens to be one of the greek fates and probably some other people I'm forgetting PLUS the villains and the side characters. its just. you need to laugh? watch that. yeah its got its sad moments and occasionally some people get injured (or die) but theyre time travelers and all they do is continually fuck up the timeline and then try to fix it and they dont know what theyre doing At All and this is an awful summary but please trust me its really good.

leap year is a funny movie that i think is still on netflix. its about a girl who goes to ireland to propose to her boyfriend on leap year as per some old irish tradition thing and she meets this snarky dude in a pub who “helps her.” its like a romcom of sorts but its well done and hilarious. also i think that guy from parks and rec is in it??

its definitely not on netflix but I've watched illegal recordings of it on youtube and its called surprised by love and its a hallmark movie. its the Classic hallmark movie. girl is Big Business Chick dating Huge Business Asshole That Her Parents Dont Like so she takes her old high school boyfriend Who Her Parents Really Dont Like to a family event in a backwards way to make her parents like her actual boyfriend better. its really great. its so cheesy but i love it. and theres a twinkie cake. 

on netflix theres this kids show tv spin off of how to train your dragon called dragons race to the edge and holy shit its the best. its rated literally like y7 so u know theres no stabby stabby but its so funny. in my opinion its Far Better than any of the movies and my sister and i got hooked on it one year and binge watched the whole thing. the plot is also immaculate. theres no plot holes and it was Clearly well thought out. i think theres like 7 seasons. its essentially pure comic relief, every episode is hilarious and without a doubt will make you laugh.

monty python and the holy grail is on netflix and is really funny. my sister and i watched it last night. its kinda dumb and makes no sense but hey sometimes u need that.

also i think it got taken off of netflix so idk where you would actually watch it but while you were sleeping. its my all time favorite movie and i can quote it front to back and sideways. i think technically its a christmas movie but it just takes place at christmas so not really? its so funny omg. this girl works at the chicago el train and she has this couch on this guy who gets shoved onto the tracks on christmas and she saves him but then accidentally tells the hospital she's hes fiancee and his family is WILD but its like the family you Wish you had you know? and so she doesnt tell them that she's not his fiancee for the whole week hes in a coma and its just. its so amazing. theres so many quotable lines. i love that movie. idk where you'd watch it tho unfortunately. 

thats all i can think of right now sadly but maybe you'll watch one of them and let me know if you do!

[foolgobi65]

meta for devasena’s age: truthfully i think this could actually go either way with her either being older or younger than baahu. (under the cut for length, also hella rambly lol)

all we really know is that baahu is 25ish when he meets her, maybe closer to 26 post kalakeya war and the months of travelling around the kingdoms. i’d put bhalla solidly at 26 at this time. devasena to me feels a little younger, a little more impetuous, but this could just be her own character or maybe the less responsibility she bears as a crown princess under her brother’s solid rule in comparison to baahu and bhalla who are emperors in training. devasena has a lot of freedom in kuntala and a lot of responsibility as well towards the protection of average citizens. i don’t think the age gap between baahu and devasena can be more than 4ish years because devasena is definitely not 20 -- she feels young to me, but not /that/ young in the sense that she has a very good sense of self that i associate with age and experience. it’s possible that again these are things she develops as a kid thrust into a position not meant for children, but still she doesnt feel 20 and anushka (who is 37 right now) certainly doesnt look 20 either. im leaning towards a devasena that is 24 when she meets a near 26 year old baahu, turns 25 in mahishmati, and thus is 50ish when she’s freed by mahendra. 

we lean towards mama deva dying when they’re really really young, but i don’t think jayasena ascends the throne until after he’s 15, maybe even closer to 20 -- whether there’s a regent before that is up to you. i think there can be anywhere between a 6-10 year gap between devasena and jayasena where he clearly had a hand in raising her as is typical for all age gaps like that. that would mean devasena depending on the age gap and how old jayasena is when he ascends the throne could lose her mom and become “crown princess” anywhere from age 5 to 14. thats a really huge gap obviously so i’m going to put up my headcanon at the moment which tbh changes by the day for this timeline lmao.

starting with a 24 year old devasena, she definitely seems very secure in her role and responsibilities as a crown princess -- if she becomes crown princess at 14 (jayasena between 20 to 24) this still gives her a decade to become comfortable which is very possible. as a fandom though i think we lean towards mama deva dying when she’s younger, but i think devasena needs to have a relatively stable childhood which you wouldn’t find in a girl who lost her parents /too/ young. i think for me mama deva dies of a prolonged illness, something so mundane frustrating to watch that devasena drowns herself in responsibilities to escape the horror. there’s definitely no plot because i dont see her as someone drowning in resentment in kuntala: the cornerstone of my characterization is that she’s well adjusted in her homeland, and generally satisfied with her life, maybe getting a little bored with the mundane routine. 

devasena’s father, the queen consort, maybe dies in an accident or even in battle against bandits like the pindari when devasena is around 9. devasena’s mother starts to show early signs of illness when devasena is 11, progresses until she’s really ill by the time devasena is 13, and finally when the queen dies when devasena is 14 it’s been so long and such a miserable affair that everyone is almost glad its finally over. (the queen most of all, particularly since she never got over her husband’s death.) this gives jayasena years to basically transition into raising devasena from the time she’s 11, though obviously as a much older sibling he had a hand in raising her earlier. devasena nurses a grudge against the pindari and other bandits that is tied up in her blazing love for her father who was there one day and then gone the next. when her mother is sick for years, jayasena has to spend lots of time with the queen on her good days to learn his royal duties before its too late (he’s anywhere between 17-21 when she starts getting sick). devasena, who’s at a very temperamental and hormonal age but knows that she cant vent her rage, frustration and sadness where her mother might see devotes herself to learning how to fight, how to keep kuntala safe like her father once did. the bandits take advantage of the queen consort’s absence and the queen’s frailty and keep encroaching on kuntalan farmland -- everyone occupied with the slow transfer of power from the queen to jayasena just lets it slip. (except devasena.) as devasena improves she asks the general to take her on raids, starting with wild animals like boars until around 13 when she pulls the same trick baahu sees her doing for the first time (helpless maiden in a palanquin.) at this point i think jayasena has become devasena’s primary parent/caregiver, while the queen has become almost deified -- devasena visits her once every day and tries to be as gentle and kind as she can be so as to not upset her. of course this doesnt always work, and visits end up being more like confessionals, where devasena pours out her heart and her mother comforts her and gives advice and tells her stories. but discipline is jayasena’s domain, as is taking care of the day to day aspects of devasena’s general life. 

when we meet devasena at 24 she’s basically the product of three parental/caregiving figuress: her mom and dad both of whom she remembers, is influenced by deeply, and loves dearly and also her brother jayasena. he’s probably been married for at least 3-5 years because devasena’s clearly comfortable with sumitra, so maybe another elder sisterish figure there. all this means that despite the loss in her life she isnt nearly as affected as, say baahu might be in a similar position. devasena of course is never orphaned in the way biju makes baahu feel like he is, and she always has family. but also she is never plagued by existential questions in a way baahu might be: she knows her parents loved her because she remembers them. baahu’s parents never knew him and so he never understands how they might have loved him. (until devasena tells him she’s pregnant, and he realizes that he loves his child so deeply already that if his own birth parents loved him even half so much it would have been more than enough.) the adventure and allure of mahishmati is more about kuntala just maybe getting a little boring on a day to day level, rather than a need to run away from her life. she’s gotten a little too big for kuntala, and her romance with baahu is built on the foundation of a relatively happy and safe childhood and home life that we see in the kuntala scenes, she is always safe and in control, and it is under these circumstances that she allows herself to pursue her interest in baahu (home court advantage basically.) if her life was at all tumultuous she would not let herself open up -- we’ve seen how in mahishmati the uncertainty had her entirely on the defensive, lashing out at inopportune times. she’s confident of her place and role in kuntala, and so she allows herself to explore the controlled uncertainty of a romance with baahu. 

@teambaahubali @teammahishmati

[happinessinthedarkest-times]

avengers endgame reaction (spoilers!!!)

**if youre on mobile scroll fast bc idk if the keep reading works

holy shit holy shit fuck fuck fuck

i am an emotional wreak right now

ahhhhh it was so good im crying still

tony fucking stark my heart i guess ill start there 

tony stark i love you three thousand. he got his happy ending with morgan and pepper for 5 years they had 5 years together and he knew that the time heist (lol) would jeopardize that and he still went and helped

that scene where he had it out with steve at the beginning fuck my heart was breaking and i was crying .

i cried a lot in this movie. legit sobbing when nat died but ill get to that

that scene was everything i wanted it to be and perfectly executed. of course hes angry and lashing out because they were supposed to do it together and lose together and the emotion behind that ughh rdj killed it

he literally hands steve his heart the arch reactor

tony and howard ugh everything with them together. tony got closure with his dad 

everything tony was great. 

steve 

he got his happy ending. he got his dance with peggy (now im crying again) fuck. and he PICK UP MJOLNIR omg that scene was amazing and everything i never dreamed could happen when the hammer started moving ughhhh omg i was cheering so loud in the theatre and i dont normally do that. that whole scene ugh theres so much to react to

and he got to say assemble. 

ok now from the beginning. 

i started to cry literally before it even started. the screen was black and i was already tearing up but when clint and his daughter came up and then his family disappeared i was full on crying.

carol coming in clutch and saving tony and nebula yessss

steve and tony’s conversation right when he gets off the ship was everything i wanted it to be. (crying again) everything. 

when they go to thanos’s house thing and thor chops off his arm . its what ive been saying they shouldve done on titan 

and then he went for the head! 

five....... 

years later

fuck them. literally when the ‘five’ came up i was like no no no dont you dare do it dont you dare and then they did it. fuck them

five fucking years?!?! they made them live through 5 years of that trauma?!?!? 

nat was everything in this film. she became the leader and keeping track of everything and her moment of breaking down was just so human. she couldnt move on in those 5 years and it just shows how much the avengers had become her family. 

scott and cassie omg cassie all grown up made me so emotional 

tony and morgan i love you three thousand she is the cutest and sweetest thing 

tony fucking stark figured out time travel. he did that. 

when tony gives steve his shield back my heart could not take it

the scenes where they were trying to pinpoint the exact time to go back and it was like a sleepover sesh and all the domestic avenger fanfics 

going back a little bit

clint killing all the people that should have been killed and deserved to be killed and being a total badass showing up all those people who said he was just really good with an arrow and every scene he has with nat.

‘dont give me hope’

thor. oh where to start. he really did lose everything and he was blaming himself for all that happened so i get where hes coming from. every time you could see him remembering and tormenting himself about what happened broke me. his scene with his mother (crying again)

also hulk/bruce was an interesting choice (not a huge fan of it but ok) 

the time traveling

everything about the new york scenes were amazing. the aftermath of the end of the avengers, loki turning into cap for a second, seeing rumlow and sitwell come out, steve getting into the elevator and channeling that winter soldier energy (i was slapping my sister on the arm so hard at this part) hail hydra and outsmarting them all. cap fighting cap “i can do this all day” lmao i was dying ‘bucky is alive” again dying they really nailed it with this. i was worried beforehand because like it would change how we would see the og avengers but i still think it works

also can talk about how tony (and scott) was checking out steves ass????

“i forgot how that suit did nothing for you ass” (be still my heart) “i like to think of it at america’s ass” (or whatever the line was) 

loki getting away with the tesseract (is that in this timeline im confused about that hopefully someone will explain bc does that mean loki is alive in this timeline or not? lol)

them going back to the 1970s (do you trust me? i do) and tony meeting howard and introducing himself as howard potts. again i know i talked about howard and tony already but i loved their scenes. and JARVIS FROM AGENT CARTER MAKING AN APPEARANCE OMG

PEGGYYYYYYY (crying) when steve walked into her office (grabbed my sister again) and when he was watching her through the window and you could feel his pain. 

thor and rocket are the pairing that i never imagined but amazing none the less. i loved that we got the return of mjolnir here even though idk what that does to the timeline (again who knows at this point) 

rhodey and nebula again another pairing i didnt expect but are great together. everything about nebula in this film. she really has a great arch. i was stressing out so hard when the alternate timeline thanos found out that they came from the past. the scene where peter quill is dancing and singing to no music was great.

clint and natasha. this pairing thie duo the og. fuck my heart. when they started going off to vormir i knew. i knew it and i cannot handle it. the whole scene where they are fighting each other to sacrifice themself i was SOBBING. LEGIT SOBBING. ‘let me go’ i loved this so much and also hated it. she deserved her happy ending too. after everything she gave up everything to save those people. her arch is so good too. im excited for her origin. i kinda want to see her when shes a bad guy and killing everyone and her journey to shield. i hope thats what we’ll see in her movie. 

but also that scene emotionally fucked me up hard. 

the og avengers (minus nat) sitting on the edge of the lake 

thor trying to put on the glove and redeem himself (in his own eyes not my own bc he doesnt deserve the shit he gets for not going for the head)

hulk doing it and the calm before the storm where everything goes back before that missile comes firing down. 

steve tony and thor facing off with thanos. everything about this scene. tony getting a juice-up from thor and lightning to max out his powers. steve jump kicking on thanos’s ass. thanos beating up thor and steve coming in with FUCKING MJOLNIR AGAIN CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW MUCH I WAS CHEERING AT THIS POINT HE IS WORTHY MY BOY STEVE IS WORTHY

also on that note tony coming up to steve and saying “theres my man” or something and giving him back his shield again. 

steve standing there with his broken shield ready to face off with thanos’s army and sam coming in on the comm. and then EVERYONE COMING THRU AND KICKING NAMES AND TAKING ASS

legit cheering and crying so much 

valkyrie with her pegasus

shuri with her blasters 

peter parker and his reunion with tony was heartbreaking. tony looked so broken and complete at the same time. he got him back. 

PEPPER FREAKING POTTS 

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE (YEESSSSSSSS)

peter quill’s semi-reunion with gamora and how she doesnt know him but he gets her back

also gamora, nebula and still-evil!nebula was a great scene. nebula killing her past self is some symbolic shit right there AND to protect her sister who she hated

CAROL FUCKING DANVERS COMING TO SAVE THE DAY AND KICK THANOS’S ASS 

im sad that she wasn’t in the film as much but i get why they did it and it also makes me really excited for her future films

but carol getting the gauntlet and peter saying “i dont know how youre gonna get through that” 

and ALL THE BADASS MCU WOMEN COMING UP BEHIND HER READY TO FIGHT AND REPRESENT FOR THE FEMALES (CRYING) 

this is something that couldn’t of been done a few years ago because there weren’t a lot of female superheroes in this universe and just the fact that this scene can make such an impression and become probably one of the most badass scenes of the mcu is one of the best things that came out of this movie.

side note: ‘activate instant kill’ great callback 

and then we get to the sacrifice.

i knew it. i expected it. i read it in fanfics.

i was still not prepared. 

‘I am inevitable’

‘I AM IRON MAN’

FUCKKKKKKKK they really know how to write these movies. 

he knew he would die. he knew he would never see morgan again. but he knew what he had to do. 

his character arch from a selfish man to a selfless man has been the most profound and powerful story. 

rdj and tony stark have really carried this franchise. they were the start. and it makes sense that his death closes out this era of the mcu. 

to rdj: i will never forgive my mom for telling me that she didn’t like you way back when. that really influenced how i thought about you and about tony stark for years. and i limited me from really appreciating and loving iron man and those movies and tony’s character. but as i continued to watch more of you in the mcu and in real life and have seen how you have grown and who you are today, i have so much love and respect for you and your character. im just so upset at the time i lost where i could have fallen even more in love with you. thank you so much for everything you have done over the last 11 years for this franchise. thank you for the time thank you for the memories and the laughs. the journey has been amazing. 

the funeral scene with ‘proof that tony stark has a heart’ 

(also was the the kid from iron man 3 in the back?)

VALKYRIE BECOMING KING (queen? i say king but who knows) of new asgard. look at my killing baby all grown up and being the leader they need.

thor becoming a guardian basically. 

also was quill looking for his gamora? where was the gamora from this timeline on the ship? she wasn’t there in the scene so idk

also fighting with knives to see whos in charge lol

im glad people mentioned/mourned for nat too 

steve rogers 

steve.

i knew he wasn’t coming back.

bucky knew it too.

im wreaked

but at least he got his happy ending. he got his peggy (again idk what that does to her timeline) 

captain sam wilson america in the house.

(old steve looks like joe biden or is it just me lol)

they ended it with a steggy dance and kiss

it really was a perfect end to his story and it wrapped up his character really well. he got that life he deserved 

to chris evans: as this is probably the last time we will see you as captain america let me thank you too for the years and joy that you have brought to my life. youre it for me. you are the reason i became so invested in this world. when you jumped on the fake grenade i was in it with you. chris you are and will always be the best chris in my heart. your passion for this character and understanding of steve rogers and his motivations have created such a memorable performance. steve rogers will always be the og. he will always have my heart. i am so thankful that you took this opportunity and used it and made this character your own. you live up to the standards that steve holds for himself and i am so excited for your future. i am also so glad that you didn’t die in this movie bc i definitely could not have handled it if i had to watch both my favs die. i love you three thousand.

i literally cried throughout the whole movie. there were laughs, cheers, groans, stress, tears, and love throughout this film. i am so grateful that i am alive during this time in cinematic history. there will never be something as great or momentous as this film. a true culmination of 22 films. its never been done and i doubt itll ever be done again

i am also so impressed and amazed by how well this film turned out. it is just amazing how everything fell into place 

im sure ill read other people’s reactions and they will bring up points or problematic things that will taint my view on this movie but i dont want that to ruin my own experience

and for me, this was truly emotionally draining and fulfilling. the feeling of being in that theatre with all those people who love the characters as much as i do and experiencing this film for the first time is something i will never forget. 

people talk about how they remember lining up for star wars.

well i remember sobbing my eyes out when nat died, cheering along with everyone when cap picked up mjolnir and whipped thanos’s ass with it and when carol and the rest of the badass women of the mcu ready to kick ass, crying with everyone as the light went out in tony’s chest and eyes, watching as history was made in front of our eyes.

and the end credits with the og avengers getting recognition with their photos and autographs. 

i love this franchise and these films and these characters i dont know who i would be without them. 

one last thing

thank you to the og avengers. steve tony thor nat clint bruce. chris robert chris scarlett jeremy mark. you will always have a special place in my heart. you were there at the start. you were the reason this all could happen you were the reason i became so invested in these movies. you brought these characters to life and embodied them. you are all so much like your characters the casting is perfect. thank you for your dedication to your work to you fans and to your characters. it means so much that you all stuck through this together and that you are such great friends in real life and i can only hope that one day i can be so lucky as to meet you all and thank you in person. 

[ssj4]

Sorry to bother you, but I keep seeing posts about a future Goten AU and I keep getting really curious! However, when I try to find links to anything about it I end up at some abandoned URLs.

SECOND TIME TRYING TO ANSWER THIS CAUSE MY IDIOT ASS FORGOT I HAD ONE TYPED OUT AND CLOSED EVERYTHING :)

some disclaimers im getting most of this from an old draft i had written about the au, i havent watched the specific scenes in dbz and dbs that these are based on in well over 2+ years so i dont remember the timeline of events that well so im sorry if some of it just straight up doesnt make sense lol

this whole thing did start out as an excuse to replace the romantic scenes with mai in dbs with goten actually so the truten themes are pretty significant but that aside future goten is a very good boy with a much different personality and outlook on things… much like how future trunks is compared to his main timeline counterpart :3c the whole thing was developed by me and my gf together and we never rly posted too much about it and the broken links you did end up finding were probably from like the one or two times we did but here u go im glad u asked 

I HOPE THE READ MORE LINK WORKS ON MOBILE IF NOT IM SORRY

the big change is it starts out with chi chi getting pregnant before goku dies of heart disease or whatever in the android saga instead of the cell saga, so even after he dies in that timeline she still has their 2nd son and he grows up in the future timeline with trunks.

when they were kids (like 10-15) goten was stronger than trunks just bc gohan and chi chi were there to teach him just a little bit. trunks and goten sparred a lot though so he was able to keep up but never really passed him. (that part isnt really important but i figured it was a nice detail that made sense)

thats when history of trunks comes into play, and they both get really serious about gohan training them. the scene in the movie where gohan knocks trunks out before flying off and getting killed is the same except now he just knocks out 2 kids instead of 1 i guess. 

i feel i gotta add that this au was created when the future trunks arc in dbs was airing, and mai was introduced as his love interest, and honestly in my opinion the scenes were written really well but i just wasnt digging the fact that before she was granted a younger appearance she was already middle aged, like she was old enough to be his mom if that makes sense. so it really isnt a dig on mai at all cause i love her and id die for her its just the romantic plot that i didnt like. so when that was airing i thought “WELL what if that was someone else” 

she’s still with them though in this timeline and she still has her younger appearance! 

the future timeline is still progressing the same as it did in canon, the androids still wrecked the place and no one was strong enough to do much about it so trunks is still set up with a time machine to meet with the other timeline. goten stays back and does his best to protect everyone while hes gone just in case

some stuff happens in between here but skip ahead to trunks coming back from the trip after the cell games i guess! lots of stuff happened obviously like trunks literally dying, spending years in the time chamber with his dad, meeting a whole gaggle of clowns that he’d only heard stories about, seeing gohan as a preteen. hes got a lot of stuff to share!!! now hes back and he can take care of the androids + cell + and goten can catch up and lifes pretty good over there! 😇

during the rebuilding period goten would spend a lot of time with chi-chi and ox-king and still slept over there occasionally which she really appreciated, and he invited trunks and bulma over there with him frequently.

despite this he wasnt present when she died as no one really expected goku black to wipe out the landscape so far from the city, but she and ox-king died along with more than half of the population. (ugh god im so sorry queen i love you😓)

as i said before mai is still here and she’s still the leader of the resistance!

events of future bulmas death is the same as well as mai originally intending to go with trunks when they meet up together in an abandoned building. goten is already there as the three of them rest up a bit and start making their way to capsule corp. goten was planning on staying behind anyways but he wanted to see the two of them off. when goku black interrupts them as they arrive, trunks and goten encourage mai to escape, seeing as she only has a gun and everyone already knows bullets arent gonna work. 

this scene is the same as it was in canon, where trunks tries to rush black but gets beaten quickly. mai trying to buy him time to let him escape is replaced with goten actually fighting him and taking a hit for trunks but getting knocked out as mai did. trunks under extreme stress from already losing his mom today assumes hes dead instantly, (he has dumb bitch disease, he didnt even check for a pulse in canon!🤔) and fires a masenko to escape into capsule on his own 

after trunks pops back in time and black is focused on searching for him, mai sneaks back in to retrieve goten (even though they told her to leave she really just ducked behind some rubble and stayed close, because she wasnt just gonna leave them!)

she takes him back to an underground bunker with other members of earths resistance and when he wakes up she tells him that trunks made it to the time machine and that hes presumably in the other timeline now. 

idk if yall remember it well but i rewatched some of the episodes just for this, and trunks in the main timeline believing goten was killed and mai is alone and he wont be able to get back is so sad. and when he spent that day with gohan and his family and cried thinking about how if black hadn’t have shown up, he couldve had a family too… he doesnt deserve to be this sad 😥

skip to when he’s finally able to get back home with goku and vegeta with him and they make their way to the bunker where he sees mai and goten together! the scene in canon where he rushes over and starts spilling his heart out is the same, with him telling goten he thought he died

they get a really sweet hug moment here when theyre both happy to see the other is still safe and it gives both goku and vegeta some Food For Thought, because goku actually didnt know there was a goten in this timeline, and he doesnt really recognize him at first. vegeta has the idea in his head that this is probably goten.

goten never really had any sort of real attachment to his dad. it makes sense hes never met him, hes only ever really heard about him through others, (his mom, his brother, trunks, and probably bulma has mentioned him as well) so he definitely knows OF him its just that, he doesnt know him. so when he sees the real goku standing there for once a lot of thoughts run though his mind, like, “that looks A LOT like goku black!” “thats definitely my old hairstyle” and “holy shit is that my dad?” but the first thing he actually says out loud is “Holy shit its goku orange” and vegeta really almost loses it because cause any doubt in his mind about this kid being related to kakarot just went right out the window cause only someone related to him would say that

and as you probably know a lot happens after that with them all finding a way to defeat zamasu but i dont want to include all of the rest when you can probably just interpret which scenes were changed  

ANYWAYS now instead of trunks surviving the apocalypse its trunks and goten surviving the apocalypse. thats why its not a really super romantic deal like Who has time for dates when goku black Might possibly be hiding in this abandoned olive garden?? so theyre just very close and privately affectionate

the ending where trunks and mai get to live in a new world with their counterparts is the same except gotens there with them of course, dbs left their ending pretty open 

so that takes care of the story changes, heres some additional details and information on gotens character in this au! 

heres his design, drawn by my girlfriend @ssj2 uwu !! 

he kept his natural hairstyle for a while, but i think he changed it sometime during the rebuilding period after the androids and just let it grow out a bunch. up until then he kept his natural style purely to honor the guy he’s heard so fondly of even if it brought him a lot of mixed feelings when people said he looks just like him. a really distinct feature about his new hairstyle is that the spikes look like horns and i love that a lot !!

and the shawl he wears was the same one chi chi wore 

some personality traits for future goten is that he has a habit of bottling up his negative emotions and has trouble taking care of himself, as hes always more focused on the well being of his loved ones. he can be mischievous and cocky but hes not overconfident (or he hasnt been since gohans death) however in some situations he can be charismatic and assertive which works really well imowhen their timeline is erased and theyre temporarily in the main timeline, goten gets to meet a bunch of people like gohan and his family, chi chi, and even his counterpart 

sorry if this post was messy i wasnt really sure how i wanted to make it look and im kinda bad at dumping information out so if any of its confusing just redirect me to it and ill try again gdjfksjdgsfk 😭❤

hmmm anyways thank u for reading!! its an au we made years ago and we love a lot and i hope u do too! be nice pls!! and send asks about it if you’d like cause its fun to think about! 

[rhodesmystery]

what is the rough timeline of natasha and charlie relationship? i love your fics and how its like little peeks into the development of it all and how it doesnt rely on them being together ll the time its lovely

HM HM HM okay let’s see... like i guess the thing is that ultimately is written for charlie and what i’ve done for natasha is being their own person is rly integral to them? like charlie grew up in a house where at any period of time, nine ppl were living under the same roof? like he didn’t have much time to himself that he literally upped and moved to romania lmfao. and natasha like, one day i’ll remember to post her family tree, but she’s in the same boat in a way, especially when her family moves from america full time. then she’s suddenly thrown into a household with all her extended family. they need to be their own people first, and i mean that independence does hurt communication and the needs of not just themselves but others as well and i guess that’s why i wrote the long walk for their relationship to finally find that point where they were like. yes. where their lines finally crossed over and stayed crossed over, instead of simply running parallel and sometimes moving in but barely touching?

this got long so under the cut

they do meet in first yr bc the game is LYING that such a SMALL CLASS POST-VOLDY wouldnt exist like a literal baby boom happens post voldy dying but the current kids around would honestly be rly small groups? hogwarts would be so EMPTY REAL TALK everyone also afraid to let their kids go to school

natasha asks for slytherin, should've been ravenclaw. much distress, and first yr in between running around with the vault of ice kind of finds her spending a lot of time in the towers and stuff. she likes high places. 

this gonna sound bad but i dont rly remember much of the 1st yr of hphm apart from not sealing the vault properly, but anyway natasha and charlie were friends anyway that mattered and natasha wasn't a very good slytherin for befriending a gryffindor AND a weasley

second yr is kind of the time where she meets bill and like on the one hand is a little infatuated with him but they are rly good friends at the end of the day. she pulls away from charlie a bit bc of it but then again i figure around this stage charlie has started his crusade of entering the forest in some respects so like. he’s not even on the grounds half the time lbr. also, i dont remember much of this yr either a lot happened. but the ice knight was there.

third yr aka vault of fear! again, with the bs, i think natasha knew of everyone PRIOR to their intros and stuff so they’re all kind of good friends but ig this is also just my thing of like. small classes post war. even with the attempt at animosity between houses, especially post war, kids probably aren't going to do. that. and i know slytherin is all death eater kids basically but most of them are probably orphaned too by the end of the war. theyre all scared ANYWAY social circle expanding... idk this yr was a ride too i remember it a little bit more than the others ig. idk what happened here rly

OKAY SO FOURTH YEAR RIGHT that’s when it’s literally a year of dating charlie in game but whatever. so going from literally spending only classes together and maybe like the one christmas if bill and charlie stayed in the castle at the same time, natasha and charlie did talk and were friends but it was on the down low towards the end of third yr. until it wasn’t bc literally all the scheming to get into the forest and mr charlie ‘i asked my brother a million questions about you over the summer’ weasley just rolling up. and theyre in each others spaces A Lot which is kind of wild for the both of them considering they’re both from large families and personal space is A Thing™ they both really need but their friendship really deepens this year. they’re very honest with each other, and whilst bill is natasha’s best friend just because of how they click, her and charlie have this understanding between them that it’s hard to get between.

except fifth yr comes along and smacks everyone in the face. natasha finds out what puberty is over the summer, along with a prefect badge. charlie also has a bit of a growth spurt around this time, so they’re awkward and lanky around each other early on. natasha also dates myron wagtail during her fifth yr, as well as esther szohr and a couple of other ppl here and there. she’s all giggly and twirling hair and I'm so sorry charlie she just hasn’t noticed you at this stage. but it’s not rly a good year for her, mentally all around, so don’t feel too bad ig.

sixth yr she’s getting tired(er) and lightly dates other people as well. broke up with myron over the summer, and like. has started to see charlie in another light, kind of? but at the risk of ruining her friendship, madly writes to bill most of the time about ‘how do i get your brother to notice me????’ because communication is key and natasha doesn’t actually know what it is. she’s also named captain of slytherin quidditch team this yr, and well. ends up spending a ridiculous amount of time closer to charlie’s second great love. sees another side of him. swoons in the stands a lot. they kind of reignite their friendship as well, as it just politely simmered in the back. teach other spells. lots of touching with hands like no no wave like this... it’s very romantic and high strung and they’re dumb teenagers not sure what to do.

they mess it up over the summer between sixth and seventh yr tho. lots of kissing. some other stuff. natasha spends a bit of time with the weaselys before returning to hogwarts. hormones everywhere.

seventh year starts with them kind of tiptoeing around not knowing where they stand relationship wise, and they’re not!! good!! at talking!! so it’s like a big drawn out game of whispers to figure out who said what but it breaks off bad and natasha cries a lot and charlie feels awful too and they’re mopey and shit for a while. like they can’t be in each other’s spaces for a while that they kind of completely withdraw to their own houses sort of thing. eventually, with a few helpful nudges and stuff, they at least talk to each other but don’t know if the friendship is there. 99% sure penny was ready to amortentia the both of them to ‘fix things’ and also just to prove she could do it. also probably didnt help that barnaby and a few other slytherins jumped charlie and quidditch team as 1) for natasha but also 2) for quidditch and that also really prompts natasha and charlie to talk because they rly cant let ppl do it for them lol

same year still, but as things start to improve and they can somewhat pick up their old banter without getting sad, bill invites natasha over for xmas because he’s actually given it off. never mind that in between all this, natasha took to writing to myron again, which just. not nice natasha jfc. natasha and charlie enjoy an incredibly awkward trip back with some UST, kiss again in the spot where they pretty much shared their first kiss, refuse to talk about the kiss, natasha buys charlie a new wand, they try to talk about it but its mostly natasha apologising for being a brat.

theyre still not back ‘on’ though, and have some make outs in locker rooms anyway, to the both of their confusion. are they ever going to talk? no. UNTIL ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and natasha’s not good at words but she’s good at actions and yknow what? fk it. slytherin might’ve won the quidditch cup, but when she landed in the middle of the pitch, and charlie reached out to shake her hand, she grabbed the front of his uniform and pulled him in for a big damn kiss in front of literally everyone, cup in her other hand. she keeps a photo of it on her at all times after that. 

i also have a fic I'm writing that was kind of before the celestial ball was announced where they organised kind of 7th yr graduation dance thing and it was going to be quiet and intimate kind of and natasha and charlie end up finishing the night together, falling asleep on a balcony and waking up with each other sort of thing lol

and that’s only ‘91. late ‘91 is when they separate for job opportunities. natasha goes to work at gringotts for a bit with bill, and charlie goes off to romania. they get a few weeks in of summer loving before, though, also post graduation celebration. but they write constantly and stuff. pursuing their own lives kind of starts to become a thing.

in ‘92, early they kind of make a vow to each other when they get a bit of time off and go to greece. its very romantic and a big step forward in commitment for them, as they don’t really see each other for the rest of the year. also, late 92 natasha starts working at durmstrang, which removes her even further from the stream of things.

early ‘93 is not a good time for charlie because of what happens to ginny and ron, so he’s not exactly in the best mindset as theres some self doubt at removing himself so much from his family, he cant be there so easily when they need him most. midway through ‘93, natasha gets attacked at durmstrang, and it takes ppl a while to actually find her. charlie spends a long ass time in st mungos beside her until she wakes up, and they reaffirm their feelings for each other when she does. natasha admits that she had called for charlie, being the last thought she had, and she creates the little runic stones for the both of them as a way of contacting each other, or just reminding them the other is there.

natasha returns to working in late ‘93, and in ‘94 they see each other again at the world cup. i know i said they took a break and ig they did but its easy for them to flirt dumbly until things go to shit with death eaters. until they punch one! and later on natasha is brought in as hired help to tutor the students brought to hogwarts, but because her ‘inside knowledge’ of the school is valuable. her and charlie hook meet up quite a bit when he’s present for the first task. also because she’s hanging around for the entire year, she is there for the yule ball and stuff. lots of writing to charlie like do you remember when we danced? so romantic.

idk what happens in ‘95. i haven't planned anything. same for ‘96. short of natasha going to romania to visit charlie a few times, and how her work ends up bringing her into the ministry a bit. its not the same kind of cooling off as hogwarts where they question the relationship, but apart from letters they dont really see each other.

in 97 however!!!!! bill and fleur’s wedding and like. they spent a bit of time apart again, so natasha puts on her best to impress her boy. and charlie wants to propose but also because he’s totally smitten by the idea of making it real between them as a proposal via ribbon only does so much lmfao. and they get interrupted! and separated for quite some time actually. natasha ultimately returns to her family, for the larger part of 97 she's working with them as they deal with the fact her grandfather made a deal with death eaters, and that her ancient family history is coming back to bite them in the ass. like i know in the books they say charlie went around recruiting foreign wizards but thats so HANDWAVEY of jkr yknow? granted she never rly sounded like she knew what to do with charlie apart from shipping him off to romania. I'm sure he went to romania like YO we cant let this happen come with me when it mattered, but you’ll have to fight me to convince me he wasn't with his family for a large part of the story, and that he wasn't doing underground work and stuff in the mean time (you can’t change my mind)

in 98 though everything goes to hell for natasha’s family and she, in a moment of panic, calls for charlie. and he literally runs to her, and they both nearly die for it, but like he finally sucks up the courage to ask her, for realsies, if she would marry him. its been like 10yrs of will they wont they for them and only so many bets can be placed. 

they get married late 98, and i know i never quite decided on smth big or intimate, but i think i’m happy with a ‘they had a big damn wedding and it was ridiculously opulent and flowery for autumn where you would’ve thought it was spring sort of thing. or maybe even something blissfully wintery. they’ve moved out of their summer romance phase, where it only came around for a few weeks at a time. relationship development. 

DO THEY HAVE KIDS I CANT DECIDE i guess the eldest would be born some time in 99? and then from there a general progression lmfao but YEAH

also in regards to like the celestial ball i understand why the canon characters weren’t involved, but i’m just smad. barnaby was rly cute though so... THERE YOU HAVE IT ANYWAY

[ithisatanytime]

i deny the holocaust

 Most of the “EVIDENCE” is witness testimony gathered during the nuremberg trials, and those were a fucking joke and everyone knew it. the “confessions” are now known to have been extracted via testicular torture, which is like regular torture but they torture your fucking balls, many of them had shattered testicles and all of them suffered beatings during interrogations. which sure fine if they were cold blooded murderers of 6 million innocent people, but the holocaust narrative is psychically impossible, and frankly, stupid. incinerating the bodies the way they say, is impossible, literally impossible, and there are testimonies given of bodies cremated regularly in under a half hour, which is fucking absurd. with modern tech, under ideal conditions, it takes over an hour, and then there is maintenance that needs to be done, and when i say an hour i mean from the time the furnace turns on until the body is reduced to ash, and cremation technology has come a long way in the eighty years since the holocaust never happened. with modern technology, under ideal circumstances, meaning you dont even have to load bodies in, or clean out the furnaces or maintain them, again with MODERN technology, it would have taked no less than 30 years to do what they said was done in 4. its beyond impossible, its actually ridiculous, and this is when you give the narrative every conceivable advantage.

   There were  tons of jewish concentration camp survivors who were interviewed by steven spielburg for his film schindlers list, their interviews were used as part of a making of documentary. they left out the dozens of “death camp” survivors who described the death camps as work camps, where no one was gassed, and they were treated rather fairly, there was even currency printed specifically for the deathcamps so that they would get paid for their work, there were hospitals that treated the ill (both of the most famous first hand accounts of the holocaust, “Night” and “the diary of anne frank include accounts of jews being treated for illnesses at on site hospitals, not experimented on just treated) which makes sense if you are running a work camp, and makes no sense if you are running a death camp. also the emaciated figures we see, i think these comprise the most compelling of the evidence, its a striking visual, until you look up american pows in japan, and see those same gaunt figures, google it right now and click images, tell me those men are not the same as the ones you see in the holocaust propaganda, typhus was pandemic around the world at the time, and thats what it does to you. notice the piles of emaciated corpses, never a fat corps among them in the photos, but according to the propaganda, most of the jews were killed upon arrival at the camp, and yet they appear to be either in the advanced stages of extreme starvation OR suffering from typhus. there are documented cases of the guards at these “death camps” (work camps) who were EXECUTED for STRIKING and stealing from prisoners, seems like a terrible waist of manpower if the goal was to kill them all anyway, the red cross inspected many of what we once called deathcamps and found no evidence of any wrong doing, not once. there are no aerial photographs from spy planes depicting the massive smoke that would have been created by continuosly cremating bodies (at impossible speed and/or volume). there exists not one single document even referencing this massive industrial under taking, and the germans were notorious for keeping records. i could litereally go on all day, but again the reason you believe this impossible story has nothing to do with evidence and everything to do with emotion.

  in my early twenties i would be exposed to some holocaust denialism, and it was always swiftly debunked. this is a tactic called (ironically) poisoning the well, whereby you purposefully seed your enemy with bad arguments to be used against you so you can easily tear them apart and make anyone questioning the narrative seem ridiculous as a result. so i was pretty skeptical until i did the math myself. its not possible, its not even close to possible, there is no way in this universe that happened. The tiny minority of ethnic jews did in germany what they attempted to do in every country they ever lived in, they took over. the german revolution of 1919 just after world war one ended, communist jews (look up the leadership of the 1919 german revolution, 7/10 were ethnic jews) and the german people were subjected to all kinds of terrible shit, mostly starvation as they bled the country dry from the top. they were also pushing things like gender theory (first ever gender reassignment was in berling, just prior to hitlers rise to power) promoted prostitution, owned the newspapers and film studios. basically everything we are seeing in america and the rest of the west today, it was called the weimar era, and the germans living under the weimar jews universally despised them. when the nazis rose to power they tried to deport the jews living in germany but no one wanted them, you see ethnic jews were notorious for doing this kind of thing, they had been kicked out of over 100 countries throughout history as a result of doing this kind of shit, so no other countries wanted them seriously there was a meeting of dozens of leaders from countries around the world and the only country who agreed to accept jews was the fucking dominican republic. they would still have this reputation today, if not for the holocaust narrative making any kind of racial classification the ultimate taboo, thats in part why they invented it, the other part was to justify britain just awarding them someone elses country while they were still living in it! the fact that they got away with that is amazing, really think about that if nothing else, because something bad supposedly happened to them, they were just GIVEN a COUNTRY that not only didnt belong to them, but was inhabited already by muslims who believed it to be their sacred land. its insane! anyway hitler just wanted to deport them and he tried (google the haavara agreement, its literally excepted history that hitler tried like hell to deport them, which is a bad idea if your final solution is the complete annihilation of the jewish race and not to deport them) when the jews around the world declared war on germany (literally a new york times headline at the time) via staging a massive worldwide boycott using the papers they owned and all the political clout they purchased via owning the international banking cartels, germany had jews registered and placed into seperate housing so they could not try to stage another revolution, they had already done it several times in germany with the spartan uprising and others, eventually even successfully overthrowing the government during the aforementioned german revolution of 1919. and then he had them put into work camps when even then they revolted violently. america did exactly the same thing, putting its ethnic japanese population in internment camps for fear of a rebellion within the country or acts of sabatoge or espianage, literally the same thing at the same time for the same reason. there were no gas chambers, they literally tell you the crematoriums are reconstructions at the death camps, because hitler “had them blown up”. there were crematoriums at the death camps, remember typhus was pandemic at the time, but the showers were just plain old showers. no jews were gassed whatsoever, an american doctor traveled to the death camps in poland (except they were work camps) and performed hundreds of autopsies, in an attempt to prove that people were gassed, he found not one single body had been gassed via cyanide out of over a hundred autopsies performed, they had died from typhus, basically got dysentary and shit themselves until they starved, it sucks but it was happening all over the world even in the pacific theater. and again the timeline for the burning of just the six million is beyond impossible and remember he supposedly killed 11 million total in his impossible deathcamps with its impossible ovens.

  I know this is hard to swallow, but you have to swallow it, because its fucking IMPOSSIBLE, you cant burn that many bodies in that amount of time, with the crematoriums they supposedly had, remember all of them are “reconstructions” built by the soviets after the war by their own admission, because hitler supposedly blew them all up. so when people say “have you been to the death camps because i have!” what they are really saying is, i saw the work camps and the crematoriums built after the war, and i was lead as part of a tour into a shower where i was told a spooky story that made me sad. its fake. it has to be fake or else the laws of physics are fake. you can call me a nazi if you want, but what does that mean? its only bad because the nazis killed millions based on their race, but im telling you they literally couldnt have, not how they say that they did. remember its illegal to say what im saying in most of europe, france germany many others, and people are currently in prison, for just questioning it! i do believe jews were killed in eastern europe by germans and others, but you have to understand they were angry for the jews had been killing gentiles for years, thats what the “red terror” was! and there were many massacres of european christians at the hands of communist jews. so some towns killed them as soon as their hegemony was broken. i dont think thats right, but find me a war where this kind of thing doesnt happen and ill give you ten bucks. that other impossible thing? never fucking happened it couldnt have. i could go on forever, but the fact is its not on me to prove it didnt happen, its on someone to prove that it did. remember witness testimony is pretty weak, and you cant convict based on that alone, and evidence of work camps isnt evidence of 6 million gassed and incinerated jews, that is an extraordinary (impossible) claim that requires extraordinary (IMPOSSIBLE) evidence.

[lovingherwasgay]

okay so

this is a schedule since TRF in case that you’re feeling a bit lost about the timeline of the series since that time because to be honest we all are

 doing some maths that that I’ll explain later, the reichenbach fall happened between late october and january

the scene where sherlock meets john at the restaurant is 2 years after the reichenbach fall, we don’t know if it was exactly two years tho but lets say that yes, it was 24 months later, it was one or two weeks before the terrorist attack in november 5th so it was in late october, that would explain why john was so sad at the beggining of the episode– cause it was the week of the anniversary of Sherlock’s death

so john must have known mary for a few months cause, like he said, they haven’t known each other for so long REALLY YOU GO AND MARRY A WOMAN THAT YOU DONT EVEN KNOw oh fuck you

well back to the point, john is refused to talk to sherlock, so sherlock has to work on the underground network alone. He tries to work with molly but it doesnt work out

while sherlock is coming back from hanging out with molly, john is kidnapped, we know it happened the same day because when mary went to baker street to tell sherlock about the skip code he was eating the chips that he offered molly to eat with him earlier that day

the day (the fifth of november) after sherlock saved him they meet at 221b and go to deactivate the bomb that same night, where john forgives sherlock

the end of the episode and also the day where john proposed to mary is situated in a few days later

the sign of three starts with sherlock writing the bestman speech, John’s proposal to him being the bestman could be after all the months of preparation or maybe before all of that, i incline more for it being before though

a wedding takes months to organize, several months, so the preparations must have lasted at least five months, i would say that the wedding takes place at least 6 months after the ending of TEH, so it happened in the middle of the year

the stag night is usually the night after the wedding but it can be a few days/a week before it

then they show us sherlock practicing dancing and after talking to mrs hudson he prepares for the wedding

the wedding, in june/july is where sherlock deduces that mary is pregnant, she mustn’t even have a month cause she would have made a test so lets stick to only weeks of pregnancy

TSOT ends with sherlock leaving the wedding earlier and just by looking at his face after talking to john and mary we can guess why

a month later john finds sherlock high and takes him to 221b where he finds out about janine and knows magnussen

everytime john abandons sherlock he goes back go drugs and always makes sure to have the excuse of a case requiring him to, we see it in HLV and also in TLD

that same night they break into magnussen’s office

and sherlock gets shot because of mary

one week later (based on what he said to the nurses when he called them in 221b) he escapes from the hospital to make john know about mary’s real identity

five months after that it’s christmas– december, so the wedding was a little more than six months ago, mary has been pregnant for six months

okay this is important it’s like the structure of the whole timeline

we know that HLV is situated a month after the wedding, and mary in sherlock’s parents’ house asked john if they really were going to talk about the pendrive after five months, so yes, it’s been six months since the wedding

that same christmas night they go to appledore and sherlock kills magnussen

a few days later sherlock has to say goodbye to john

after literally less than ten minutes he comes back and we have the christmas special, all of that happening while he was coming back

i want to point out that he didn’t take those drugs to help him solve the Emilia Ricoletti case like mycroft said, he only wanted to solve it to help him understand how Moriarty could be back, the drugs he took before even getting on the plane weren’t meant to help him with Moriarty cause he didn’t even knew it, and he said they helped him to think better, so what would he need to think about if it wasn’t moriarty? he probably wanted to have a big amount of drugs to kill him of overdose and then avoid the torture of that mission that was going to kill him anyway, or maybe he just wanted a portion that couldn’t kill him but help him survive the mission. Maybe even trying to make the people that sent him know that he was high so they wouldn’t find him helpful and would send him home, but that one is way less likely

anyway back to the timeline

mary gives birth– it has to be three months later

at the end of t6t the baby must be 2-3 months old, maybe older, since christenings are usually done when the baby is one or two months old

the lying detective must start a month after mary’s death, if sherlock planned the whole thing “two weeks ago” to get john to help him get that serial killer. Faith must have appeared one week after sherlock got back to drugs

mrs hudson takes sherlock with john two/three weeks later

that same day they go to meet that little man sorry idk the name

the night of the same day or maybe a day after, john saves sherlock and the next day The Hug™ happens and it’s also sherlock’s birthday apparently

next week (because visits to therapists usually are one week after the last one) john finds out about eurus

the final problem– aaahhhh who the fuck knows this is going to be a mess but it starts after john wakes from the tranquilizer that eurus shot him

i guess that he immediately told sherlock and he must have done everything in his power to know the truth as soon as possible so the begging of the episode must be less than a week after the TLD ending

the same day mycroft, sherlock and john go to baker street to talk about eurus and then there’s the explosion of 221b happened

i guess that a few days later they go to sherrinford and all that mess happens, we dont know how long they were there but lets say one or two days

the next day, late night, the ending happens and it’s all over

they get back to 221b and i guess that in a few days (because of their clothes changing) they restaured it all, just how it was before

i think john is back in baker street, if he’s solving crimes with sherlock again he can’t go to 221b everytime they have a new client and sherlock just calling him when something’s up is just not them, so yes he’s living in 221b, maybe they used 221c for Rosie’s bedroom for when she’s older

well getting back to the point

moving out must last some days, maybe a little more than a week if he has a lot of help, so maybe a week or two later he is living with Sherlock again

we don’t know how much time has happened between each scene of the ending but in the last one of sherlock carrying rosie and giving her to john she looks really older, almost a year i would say, so maybe it’s been months since the eurus mess, we know that it didn’t happened the same day because even if the visits could come all at the same time to the “reinauguration” (?) of 221b there’s also scenes of different cases and clients, and sherlock lasts some days to solve a case, so it must have happened with a gap of a few days (at least) between each scene

so conclusion, since they met in 2010 until Sherlock’s death they have been living together for two years– so sherlock “died” in 2012, then in 2014 he came back and we are now probably at the same time as them, maybe the eurus mess ended in 2016 but with all of those scenes at the end they fast forwarded to 2017 so we are all in the same year again

i really dont know what’s the utility of this post, there’s literally no final conclusion or point that i want to prove, i was just bored and wanted to write this so i hope it helped ?????? sorry for any grammatical errors cause english is not my first language but i hope it wasn’t too complicated to read

[weasterned]

@CHRlSTIAN_YU

1. my ex mafia boss, really kind and friendly, crazy , yayayayaa 2. nope hahaha 3. Happy New Year, IAN ! (2)

- (2)

aye lori papa, we just met few days ago and already have continuous convos and i hope it continues. i found you such a greatly amiable man, so kind and not typical cold city guy that most of ian's rper have. and u're such a convo builder too. let's build another convos lori papa!

1. ngeselin, receh, caring, understanding, prudential

2. jangan sering main sama jo nanti pingsan

3. belum sempat bilang ini, remember when i said "i'm gonna leave" it was actually supposed to be a prank but keterusan since kebetulan i was so busy that time and pas aku balik kktmu ilang, your reaction was so funny, it made my day, Thank you so much, ian! You were there for me during my gloomy days. i hope you will cheer up soon! don't be gloomy and always happy, ian.

1. Galawers, Cool, Almost Decent-- tapi gajadi heuheu.

2. Abah kabayan. don't touch my abah bcs he is precious. at first ya I thought abah were decent even gabisa ngomong bahasa tapi ternyata sunkpiece ugha aigu, , , , tebak ini syp?! kalo bener nanti dikasih ulekan gosong!! what should I say? I'm thanking God the most for your existence. you're my best listener, sempet menghilang karena ngopi sma genderuwo, ternyata abah galaw. bah, don't be galaw anymore ya? don't leave me ugha!! I love you, abah.

3. 2017 will be end very soon, what's your thoughts on mine within 2017? hehehhe. I hope we can be more closer ampe dempet in 2018.

1) cool?, kind, friendly, funny, potray his chara well 2) no need to, i guess 3) let's talk more in the future and get along well! + i hope 2018 will be much much better year for you!✨

1. humble, warm, kind, daddy vibes 2. please dont change your chara! I like Ian mhehe 3. Enjoy your christmas and happy new year!

1. Brotherable, abangable, kind, sometimes mean, sometimes handsome. 2. I hope you can be a better person in the future, I said this doesnt mean you are not better for this present. When you inactive I feeli I lost one of my best brother, but finally you back and I'm happy. 3. Hello Ian oppa, I really really we can get along well again, next year should be better than this year. Be happy, abangku. You are precious, brother!

1. kind, oppaable, murah senyum WKWKWKKWKWK. gatau lg ah.

2. we haven’t talk much, but i hope you’ll always be happy no matter what and be a better person.

3. . i just wanna say, thank you for staying in WST. i’m happy that i have such a kind and caring members here. it might be pretty hard when you feel left out in agency, but i didn’t feel like this here. thank you ♡

Coooooool ! Eum . . . how should i say this . . .

Kind of . . . orang yang keren gitu/? muehehe

Calem pasti nih o.o we didn't talked a lot last time . . . let's talk next time okaaay !

#1 - Gentle man 👍 - Kind hearted - Warm guy - Cool - Sometimes cute? lol

#2 I hope you can be more happier and please keep it up, your kind and warm side! 헤헤

#3 Hello, Ian Oppa. I'm so glad to know you and get closer to you. I can't even believe that we can be this closer haha. But still, It's a good things for me to have meet you in this year. Thank you for your good words since we first meet until now. You're really a good guy, a gentle man. You deserve to be happy, so I hope you can be more happier in the next year. Let the past become our lesson, and let's keep moving forward. Oh, and please don't get too closer with hot girls, because they're dangerous 😊 I hope you can find your kind of hot girl who can treat you better. Well, I hope you can find your own happiness so that you can put your sadness away.

Anyway, I hope we can stay being close like this and keep take care of each other too! :)

1. Handsome, good, friendly, awesome, /coughs/ your new chara is sexy 2. None none 3. Hello, Ian! I'm forget who you are before but your new chara is sexy and swag. How's your 2017? I hope your 2017 is good and so does 2018. Happy new year!

1. Mature, nice, warm, kind, cool 2. I think you have side that not everyone expect will come from you haha and thats good actually 3. Hello ian hyung, i remember once youre concerned about me being gloomy haha that shows how warm and nice person you are! I wish i can be closer with you

Kind, calm but humorous, friendly, nice. I know I rarely active so I don't really know about the members, but sometimes you still do jb jb on me while I'm trying to be active.

my bae joo mean jual mahal sama saya moody? scary at first,

1. So brother-able, indeed ! Ayah-able, bahkan ! Caring with his surroundings, sho warmhearted— well sometimes I feel like want to make you as my Unnie sighs—

2. Nothing more, he has been done good at updating his chara too!

3. Hewwo Ian Sunbae ! Since 2018 is nearly neaar, I hope you will always be fulfilled with haffiness, find your new hobbies, experiences new things and smiiile more ! People loves you, remember that. ♡

CHRlSTIAN_YU 1. Baik, lucu (gak sih), always on mia, ramah, kocak and  unpredictable.. (loh) 2. sesungguhnya kita berdua gak pernah ngomong pake  bahasa kan semenjak kenal? so gue lagi males pake  english jd gue tulis bahasa aja ya :p. Rome... gue tau  kalau lo bisa nebak gue ini siapa. pleaseeee if you have  a burden you feel free share it with me or maybe to  someone that you trust. Gue tau lo sempet deactivated  your account and back with a new one. karena ketika  gue mau mention lo, gue gak dapet username lo. bener  gak sih? Syukur deh lo udah balik lagi. I'm glad to see  you back! Pokoknya..... Don't feel you are alone. I know  we aint close enough, maybe bcs chara kita deket jd  kita berasa deket juga. but the owner kan bisa say  different yaa? Heheh. You're still my friend and please  don't change your chara. Ian is quite mainstream lately,  but it's really suitable for you. 3. stay healthy bro! and do whatever you want ...  remember YOLO! hhahhaa

1. imma admit, this obba so handsome. typical obba who can make your knees got weak 2. this obba also humble and easy going, i usually scared when im talking to other rp who has the same fc as him, and i could say he's the first ian rp i got close with beside my own rl friend who ever using ian as his fc 3. dear ian obba, imma snatch xiao from you. she's mine now. bye

1. funny, great taste of humor, great taste of music, chatty, convobuilder. 2. I already am liking how he reply to my mention, it does bring out positivity whenever he talks to someone. I do respect him. Just, I hope he will be more positive and not to burden himself with such sadness alone. be happy oppanim, we got your back. 3. It's almost 2018, days counting and I do hope you will have a great great year in 2018. It might be suck, might. But still, you will have good daysssss and bad dayss, but don't worry.

1. Ramah 2. Sangat baik hati 3. Caring (I think?) 4. In-character 5. Organized

Hyung-ah, the only think I think that you need to improve on is to be a lot more happier than you are before. Please do not be galau anymore!

Ian hyung, the year is ending very soon. I hope you will have a great year next year and please do, because that will definitely be awesome. Have a great 2018, hyung.

1. cool, fun, not so calm, kind, weird. 2. for me, Ian hyong is the onw who talk to me often too, he was cool at first time but look at him jigeum 8 " ) well, at first time I got awkward towards him but not already because lues already lmao jk. i need to stop online at midnight because timeline became lapaknya Ian hyong and SOngso unnie 8 ") take times to online more, hyong! 3. hi, Ian hyog one of weast brother. I wish you an unlimited happiness, you'll passed rude or even rough things this year. congratulation for being together with SOngso unnie I'm happy for you two! I wish many good things happen right after. fighting! loves.

1. Fun, joyful, smart, receh, gloomy 2. Stop being nyebelin juseyo :D 3. It seems like something happen to you, I hope you will find a way to solve it. God bless you!

1. Receh-able, funny, cool, apalagi ya... 2. Please always be who you are! I will always support you! 3. Please always be happy and healthy! May 2018 become a year that bring a lot of luck for you! And long last for you and xiao.

1. KIM JENNIE ENTHUSIAST. BUT HE'S TAKEN NOW. GLAD. 2. IDK WHAT TO SAY NO MORE, BUT KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. 3. Uh, I still feel so dumb while sent you a dm on another account of yours and shouting, 'WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN". Yet the fault is on me who was so outdated because of that. Ah, I'm so embarassed. Let's talk more and get closer in the future. Take a good care of yourself, keep smiling widely, and be happy as always.

[ellerevelle]

copy paste past journal entry 1

My boyfriend and I broke up about three weeks ago. I’m deleting old journal entries I furiously scribbled down or typed out on the ‘stickies’ app or ‘notes’ app. But theyre interesting enough to me to not want to delete completely. So I’m copying and pasting them here. Its interesting... we only just broke up, but I wrote this entry in October of 2015. And I referred to the things that I still feel and fear from him to this day. I shouldve known. Even way back then. 

Begin entry-- 

how does it make you feel to think we might never see each other again?

you are an asshole. for deciding my love isnt good enough for you, that i am not worth fighting for, for breaking up with my after my birthday after my mom dies.

think about it. think about how you get to know a person.

you meet, where? at work? in a bar? at a show? through a friend at dinner or something?

you chat with them there. they impress you, how? with a cute joke. by going along with the shit you say. by carrying themselves well. by making small talk you enjoy that you want to see them again and continue it into medium talk then maybe big talk if the chemistry takes you there.

they are attractive.

they are attractive, the easy way.

therefore they are easy to spend time with, the easy way. the "lets go swimming!" way or the "lets see a movie" way or the "lets not get too heavy into dark stuff or pain" way.

you sleep together. its nice. or its hot. or its both. or its neither... all more ways to get to know someone.

Now, think about when it starts to not be easy. Are you still attracted to this person? Have you been "tamed"? Why?

You have gotten to know me through a shit ton of easy stuff. And then I showed you some of my glow. We brought magic out of one another. We made the EFFORT to continue to see one another because we loved each other, loved the feeling of being together. And for me, I wanted to know more about your magic.

Of course I saw your struggles, your difficulties. I noticed the things you brought up more, complained about more. I noticed what annoyed me or red flagged me. Times you were cynical and quick to diss. Quick to opt not to relate or try to understand a different point of view. I remember the time you straight up got out of bed and took a walk around the block in the middle of the night because you were upset with me after watching Pulp Fiction.

And I realize I had a one night stand with someone. And that the timeline doesnt sit well with you.

But lets get into that.

I let someone touch me, yes. Its horrible that I didnt know better, yes. But have I seen him since? No. Did I honestly even enjoy being there? No. Do I respect him? No. Have I let anyone even come close to touching my body since? No.

It was not an emotional affair. It was not a plotted out, planned out, steamy hot romance. It was a bullshit night that I walked away from shaking my head about, judging him. judging myself. But honestly not really judging myself that much. I felt angry because it was a useless night and I shouldve shut it down, but I didnt beat myself up over it because it was over, I handled it, didnt enjoy it, didnt feel conflicted. It was like eating something you werent hungry for but you did because you didnt want to be rude and it was gross but you finished it and then felt fat afterwards so you punished yourself by going to the gym for an extra hour to make up for it.

I know that sex is different for you because you even held on to your KISSES as prized possessions.

But just because I dont do that doesnt make mine worth any less. I know myself. And I feel my heart steadily evolving and a kiss can be anything to me. It isnt JUST the utmost most precious kiss. A kiss can be a throw away. A hug can be a throw away. Its MY decision inside my heart and head and soul to decide what these things mean. If I kiss a perfect stranger I can choose to make it sexy, make it cute. I can choose to trick you. I know how to do that. I know what the moves look like.

But choosing to really mean it. I realize I've put myself in a very challenging position, setting myself up like this. Because how the hell would you be able to tell or believe if I mean it or not. When I'm capable of just giving you the illusion.

But thats where time comes in. Thats where getting to know someone comes in. Thats where you come in.

Because you have let me in from the start. Yes, it was easy. I presented myself as myself but breezier, probably. Because I was. I was on the road, away from home, feeling free. So thats how my soul presented itself. That is my favorite feeling, so I reflected it on the outside. Its like ... when you watch a horse running free and youre in awe and you feel so connected and youre attaching yourself to this animal and its soul that its showing you, but a week later you come by the ranch and the horse is in its stall. or its doing exercises with the ranch hands, around and around and around and it looks disenchanted. Is that not the same horse you were so bewitched by? it is. and You are a jerk for not remembering. Just because its not exactly how you remembered it doesnt mean thats not who it still is. and you are missing out if you walk away, saddened, thinking " i cant watch this, I cant see my horse like that. that is not my horse" and you leave, with that as your last impression. not believing that beautiful creature doesnt of COURSE want to be out in the field. that it doesnt OF COURSE want to feel the same beauty you want it to. OF. FUCKING. COURSE it does.

So dont walk away. Because its a sign that you dont believe it'll ever happen again. its giving up. its saying "bah, why bother". its choosing to do something else to suit yourself instead of sticking it out through uncomfortable or sad bits in order to be a part of something extraordinarily special again.

So.

I was easy to love.

And then I wasnt.

I brought on doubts to you. Issues with long distance. Quiet growing doubts about my unemployment. My motivation.

I should have stood up for myself on that sidewalk.

Because of course I have flaws. You dont think I know that? You dont think I dont already rip myself to shreds in my own head about flaws? The guy talking to me who has gone through depression himself, you cant bring yourself down again can you? youre choosing not to relate because maybe i remind you of yourself? Is that it?

I could just as easily have been embarrassed by you. I just as easily couldve been a gigantic cunt to you. About how youre throwing your time into a job you never talk about growing in. About how you dont have enough time to really make your band the way you want. And subsequently you spend all your day sweating at work and then all your night going to rehearsal and writing songs and then beating the shit out of yourself when neither of these things are fulfilling. your band is only just getting paid. you dont have time to make an internet impact. you dont let people get to know you on stage. what the hell am i sinking my teeth into if i cant even figure out what genre you are. try a different city. try a different crowd. try a different job.

and yet, Have I called you out on any of this? Have I chosen to make any of this about me? any sort of issue to bring up to make you fucking question yourself?

No. Because I have chosen to not consider these things flaws. these things are differences between you and I.

And I could fucking spin it easy as fuck into deep, profound character flaws in you.

But nope. I. LOVE. YOU. and I am making the CHOICE goddamnit to see them as DIFFERENCES and see the bright side of the coin. And make them character TRAITS that make you STRONG and BEAUTIFUL and UNIQUE.

Because I can. It is a strength in me, a choice to stay. A choice to not look for issues to pick apart.

Because you've shown me your glow, your magic. And I choose to see THAT. I choose to believe that those glorious quatlities in you come from struggle, confusion, depression, and they are the current in your river that pulses from the depths. and even if other shit is going on in the more shallow layers, the current is still there. Even if we've both forgotten or gotten bogged down by trivial things, or topical issues, or recent tragedies. Theyre challenges, these distractions. But I choose to know that the current is still the same in you. Its the guiding force.

I absolutely have huge character traits that confuse the hell out of me, and as time goes by its like a glacier ever so slowly carving out the valley that is me. Every so often a wonderful something will come and test you. Your love put an entirely different weight in my mind. You gave me the opportunity to reassess my social definition. I hadnt been able to really tell anyone "I'm seeing someone, sorry". I havent been able to let saying No guide me to more authentic Yes's.

I havent had a job for three years like you. I havent committed to a band like you.

but how dare you asshole stand on a sidewalk with me, saying "whats the last time youve made anything? whents the last time youve created something?"

"what have you done lately"

"what do you even do"

I should have hit you then. I really should have. Because, to me, it wouldve been justified because you threw the first punch. Right in my fucking face, with spit on your knuckles.

Our lives are extremely different and it reflects WAY MORE ON YOU than it does on me that you called me out like that. Fuck you.

It shows me youre afraid of me. It shows me that you think you're better than me, that you'll survive better than me because you think you work harder.

But the difference is I choose what to work on. It is a luxury. I do envy you so often that you have the grit to just work. juuuust work. I havent struggled and it is a missing part in me in that capacity. But. That does NOT mean I havent put myself out on a limb. That does NOT mean I havent tried new things. That does NOT mean I havent had to be creative, to go with less, to be uncomfortable, to be scared.

I am emotionally rich. I am emotionally creative. I am intellectually remarkable. I am adventurous. I have ingenuity. I am sensual. I experience my world, and further more, I go out to find it.

Do not judge me for not settling down in one city like you did. I have been in one place for ten years, made my mark, and am now traveling to see what makes its mark on ME.

I have been alone in countries where I do not know anyone, do not speak the language, and do not know the land. And I know you know this. And I know you probably dont like me for it because you havent or think that you cant.

But I think that you can. Its a choice. Maybe thats also why you dont see this relationship working. Because our idea of possibility is so vastly different.

I can do anything. I am free to do anything. I have chosen to not sink heavy into a job because I placed freedom at a higher priority.

But that does not mean that cant shift and change.

And you met me at a time when that was beginning to change. I lost touch with loving Philly. I was in the throes of realizing the friendships I thought I was making werent fruitful or beneficial. I was remaining unemployed because my family was struggling and I wanted to be able to go home if I had to. Which is something I'm still struggling with because what with Mom and everything, I shouldve gone home a fuck of a lot sooner.

I am struggling with losing my Mother. What I pray to be the most difficult thing I'll ever have to do. You have met me at the most absurd time in my life. Hopefully.

But, at least at the beginning, you chose to love me anyway. You chose to see my potential, see what I love about MYSELF. I was so excited you were seeing me as me, not as some random female body wandering around Philadelphia.

You listened to the words that were coming out of my mouth so I wanted to make them great ones. I wanted you to know ME. And you did, through spectacular magical ups, and then earth shatteringly painful lows.

THAT IS NOT SOMETHING THAT COMES QUICKLY. I defy you to go fall in love with someone and see down the line that she's gonna come with her own set of flaws that will especially show themselves in times of trouble, anguish, and tragedy. And then you'll get to choose again, whether theyre worth sticking it out through. Whether theyre worth getting over. Whether her shine is something you believe in enough to sit the storm through with. To get hit with some lightning bolts because you know the sun's on the other side. Because you know she WANTS to shine for you. She wants to warm your heart. She wants to, even after her own world falls apart, to still help you heal yours.

That is what I am. That is how I feel. Because I am beautiful and I am fucked up and I am worth it.

And you are beautiful and you are fucked up and you are worth it.

But you have to know that bailing doesnt really make me feel super great.

It instills the defense mantra "Why should I fight for him if he doesnt fight for me?"

Which I'm sure you'd combat with "that is toxic and immature"

but we're all cavemen, (name omitted).

Its a basic choice. If anything, you'll go through phases of thinking everything has to be more elegant and complicated and elevated. But then you'll get old again and realize nope. nah.

Just love. Juuuuust love. Just shut up. Shut the fuck up and relax and feel it.

So the scary part about that though is what if you shut up and relax and then realize you dont love me... That you did and you wont forget but right now you simply dont and its over. Over enough to never return.

That parts the sucky part. But I'd rather know than not.

Because all of this cold shoulder stuff, or acting like you barely know me, not allowing any warm inflection in your voice when we speak, that versus the sigh, THAT sigh when you look at me and there are no words. you look in my eyes and your breath cant come out as just a normal exhale, it has to sigh its way out. and then you hold me so tightly against your body. Or when you let your guard down as my friend and we giggle and laugh and theres magic there that comes with holding someones hand without thinking about it. as effortless as blinking. you reach out and touch because its what youre meant to do. The up and down, hot and cold, barely talk then sweep me off my feet with expressions of wanting to grow old together. I cant handle the contrast. Because I want the latter, and when I get the former it feels like you hate me. Like youre teasing me. Like torture.  I wish I knew what you wanted. Then again you've already said you want space and time for yourself and that you cant love me with all this negativity. WELP BUSTER how about the fact that i'm still loving you despite the fact that youre doing this to me. that youre (in my opinion) irrationally angry at me for allowing flirtateous text messages to occur even though youre a zillion miles away and i have just lost the number one love in my life, My Mom. Youve got no interest in letting me fix that mistake. and then you bring up my one night stand that happened before all that. and i try to explain its insignificance. and that I CHOOSE TO SHARE MYSELF WITH YOU. MY WHOLE SELF. and the only way to continue to grow is to keep going forward and trying but it sounds like you dont want me to try. I know youre angry but I want you to have my fucking magic. No other idiot deserves it. Just one idiot. You.  

But yet you throw me under the bus ( about depression, about flirting, about not having a job)  instead of considering that my heart is broken and I'm still standing. Instead of considering softness and forgiveness and genuinely helping, you're scared and protecting yourself.

And you say YOU cant give me YOUR heart because of too much negativity?!?    I COULD JUST AS EASILY SAY THE SAME GOD DAMN THING ABOUT YOU.

I shouldve stood up for myself on that fucking sidewalk. I should've slapped you across your goddamn face. You know why I chose to let you be right, though? Because I was afraid if I was mean or harsh or fought back you wouldnt like it and you'd doubt yourself or itd hurt you. And instead of considering hurting you more or trying to make you the one in the wrong, I took it. I took it. I took your fucking emotional shame fest, let you smush me into the dirt. Because if you felt hurt by something I retorted with, what if you left? What if you really really left?  But at least I figured if I was 100% in the wrong then I could fight back and work my way back up. I didnt want you to think I was mad at you because often it seems like if you think I'm mad at you, you walk away or leave or get quiet because you think its what I want.   Even in bed, you'd ask me if i was okay and I said no so you rubbed my back and then soon after went to be closer to me or something and I shrugged or made some implication you took to mean "no" , so you rolled to the furthest reaches of the bed away from me. As if that was doing me a favor. When in fact its the complete opposite.

Which, again you'll retort by saying that i'm immature and its toxic la la la. All I want is you to reach out to me. To touch me. To speak to me. To say something. To show you care. That you think this is worth it. I

ts not something I'll need 100% forever. But I just went through the toughest shit ever losing my goddamn Mother so yea. Forgive me for needing some extra.

Forgive me for needing some extra attention and reassurance and if it doesnt come through from you I texted a friend and it came through from them. And I'm sorry. I know you think you dont have enough to go around right now. For work, for music, for yourself, for your social life, then for me. I'm another "project" as you so sweetly fucking put it that night. In the coldest voice ever. Beautiful golden brown eyes turned black with arms crossed.

It really is a challenge choosing to stay with someone who handles this situation the way you are. That discussion after sushi was unwarrantedly harsh and cold. I committed a human sin but I showed up to try and fix it. I dont think you give a fuck about trying to fix my opinion of you now. You are a cynical prick. Acting indifferent and blowing me off.  

texting me basic shit about your weekend plans, and i try to be enthusiastic but i feel like whenever i'm out or doing something and tell you about it, i always include "it'd be better if you were here" because thats how I feel. and I wonder if you ever feel that.

Your indifference gives me nothing to read from, nothing to glean warmth from. If I cant tell that you care, I'll assume that you dont. And I'll teach myself to not need it. I'll move forward.

How does it make you feel to think you'll never see me again?

Of course I'm still magic on my own.

Of course I know you'll be fine

I've just never had anything like this

and I'm not even close to interested in letting it go without a fight.

And it makes me sick thinking you are.

"you think your love for me is unhealthy" and i want to know why

i know youre looking into yourself and want time for yourself after jessica

but you didnt have to pursue me. if you didnt want it, if you wanted to focus on yourself you didnt have to pursue me. but you did.

Dont do anything youre going to regret. I am dissapointed at what I've learned about you from this. But it doesnt beat what I already knew, what I already loved. And I'm willing and interested in working it through. Because I’m beautiful, and I’m fucked up, and we’re worth it.